


Rise of a New Order

by forestelf86



Category: Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Advice from reader: don't read chapter 10 during a thunderstorm, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Ben's Swolo is showing, Canon Compliant, Consensual Sex, F/M, Force Ghosts, Force Sex (Star Wars), I think this constitutes as bed sharing? Maybe?, Loss of Virginity, Multi, My First Smut, My First Work in This Fandom, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, R2-D2 is a cockblocker, Rey is thirsty, SPOILERS for TLJ, benwiththegoodhair, yes they use some form of contraception (probably implants) I just decided not to mention it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-03-17 02:38:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 43,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13649700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forestelf86/pseuds/forestelf86
Summary: After the events of the Last Jedi, Rey reflects that it's entirely possible that Snoke was not responsible for her connection to Ben. She's right. As Supreme Leader, Kylo needs to gather the support of those who can help him mold the galaxy to his vision. More importantly, what can they both do to make the future they see together come to pass?





	1. Mistakes We Made

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _It wasn’t Snoke._

It was the first time Rey had really let herself think about those last moments on Crait, when she’d slammed the control panel for the _Falcon’s_ entry ramp, forcibly cutting off her view of Ben. She had known he wasn’t really there kneeling in front of her. Whenever their bond connected them, she could see and feel her surroundings, but everything became laser focused on _him_. She shouldn’t have been able to see him like that, not with Snoke dead. She shouldn’t have been able to see the utter betrayal, longing, and grief on his face as he looked up at her…

She tried to block her thoughts like she’d done ever since the _Falcon_ broke atmosphere on that day, carrying the pittance of the Resistance that was left. She listened to the roaring of the waterfall just yards away from the tree she had taken respite under outside of Theed Palace. Being in the Mid Rim, and apparently the home planet of General Leia’s birth mother, Naboo was the closest place that Leia had thought the Resistance might find shelter and aide. 

Rey had thought Takodana and Ahch-to were probably the most beautiful places she would ever see. She had been wrong. The sheer splendor of the Naboo capital was something Rey never could have imagined, and was utterly overwhelmed by. The Queen had welcomed them into the palace willingly (and secretly, of course), and the General had been in negotiations every day since. Rey busied herself helping Chewie make repairs to the _Falcon_ and getting to know Rose and Poe, who were never too far away from Finn. 

Finn. It was so good to be with him again. Seeing him on Crait, healthy and whole, embracing him just like when he came for her on Starkiller Base, felt like being reunited with family, and she knew he felt the same way about her. They both grew up with no one, after all. She counted it as a miracle that they had found each other. 

Sometimes though, when she watched Rose take Finn’s hand, or Finn brush an unruly strand of hair out of Rose’s face, she couldn’t ignore the aching pang of emptiness that seemed to be ever present since…since…It was at those moments when she found the most comfort in Poe. 

She and Poe had immediately bonded over their shared adoration for BB-8, but she had a feeling that Poe immediately bonded with almost everyone he met. His easy smile and sense of humor could put almost anyone at ease, and he’d regale her with stories and jokes until she was laughing so hard that the emptiness she felt almost went away. Almost.

After a lifetime of solitude, Rey thought she would never get tired of being surrounded by people. Not just people, but _friends_. It was still something of a novel concept to her. Then, today, it all just became…too much. Rey could no longer pretend everything was all right, could no longer pretend that _she_ was all right. She made her way out of the palace, following the roaring of one of the many waterfalls on the side of the cliff until she found this tree. 

She didn’t know what kind of tree it was, but the branches seemed to drape towards the ground, their tiny little leaves creating a miniature cave of foliage. She parted the branches, and once their delicate curtain had closed behind her, she lowered herself onto the ground, closed her eyes, listened to the white noise of water crashing down hundreds of feet, and just let herself think.

_She was such a fool._

Rey should have listened to Master Luke. How could she have just gone to Ben without any sort of plan? All because of a vision she had seen when their fingers somehow managed to touch across the galaxy. She had felt them, warm and calloused against her own, and then suddenly she was standing beside him. Fighting beside him. Being in complete and total _balance_ with him.

It had all been a cruel joke of the Force. She had felt all those things, fighting beside him in that throne room. Her heart had swelled with hope as she grasped her lightsaber after the fatal blow, his eyes searing into hers, seeming to say that he did all this for her.

After the battle, when he rose to his feet and threw down the guard’s weapon, she knew he would come to her. It was inevitable. Like two magnets of opposite polarity. The intensity of it scared her and she wasn’t ready for it. Then she remembered…the Resistance, _Finn_ , and she turned from him.

When he didn’t respond to her pleas to stop the attack, she turned and saw him walking, as if in a trance, towards Snoke’s throne. It was then that she knew that she had lost him in that moment to the power of the Dark Side. And she knew, on some level, that it was at least partially her fault. If only she had let him come to her before she turned away, then maybe...

She was so lost in her regrets that when she opened her eyes, she jolted because Ben was right above her, looking down just like he had on the _Supremacy_. As she scrambled to her feet, she wondered briefly that if they were able to touch through this bond...could he kill her through the bond as well?

Then she took in his appearance, and her fear faded. Yes, he was angry. Everything from his clenched fists to the grinding of his jaw conveyed that, but his eyes...She couldn’t help the tear that trailed down her cheek as she saw the deep hurt in their sorrell depths. 

“You tried to kill me,” his baritone voice shook with betrayal.

“No, I didn’t. I was trying to escape you.” 

It was true. If she had wanted to kill him, she had ample opportunity to do so after she woke up from the force blast that was her lightsaber splitting in two. She had looked down at his unconscious, too vulnerable form and knew that the safest thing for the galaxy was to kill him, but she couldn’t. Instead, she had brushed his sweat-damp hair from his forehead, clipped his lightsaber to his belt, collected her lightsaber pieces, and left to help her friends. 

Doubt flashed through his eyes, and that stung, but she held her head up high and hoped that it conveyed her sincerity. Some of the tension in his body uncoiled, and his fists finally relaxed, his long fingers, surprisingly not in their gloves, extended. He let out a small exhale and closed his eyes to process the information. She wanted to go to him, hold him in her arms and tell him that she _cared_ , but she couldn’t. He was now the Supreme Leader, head of an order that was trying to destroy almost everything she loved, but as she watched him process the news that she didn’t want him dead, it became one of the hardest things she’d ever done to just stand her ground.

When he opened his eyes again, she saw the same emotional exhaustion that she felt in her chest. “Why did you leave?”

“You know why.”

“The _Resistance_ ,” he spat it like it was a bad word, and the anger coiled back into his body.

“Yes.”

“Can’t you see how pointless the Resistance is? Supporting a government that’s failed not once, but _twice_?” he inquired vehemently.

“It’s not about the politics, Ben. It’s about the _people_.”

He sneered, “The _traitor_.” She could hear the jealousy in his voice. 

“Yes, Finn. He was my first friend. The very first person to give a damn about me that I can remember. He’s now the closest thing I have to a family. And there’s your mother,” he flinched, “but it’s not just about them. I could never join a group that killed _billions_ of people to get what it wanted. Not even-” she swallowed the words before she would regret them, hoping he wouldn’t notice. He did. He always knew when she was holding back.

His gaze darkened, and his large stature loomed over her as he stepped into her space, “Not even what?”

She swallowed and couldn’t bring herself to raise her gaze to his eyes. His proximity did strange things to her that she hadn’t experienced before. It was as if her entire body was electrified, tingling with the intensity of what she knew now was attraction. It was somehow terrifying and exhilarating. 

The touch on her chin caused her to let out an involuntary gasp as he raised her face to meet his eyes. She saw the same wonder reflected back at her that this was even possible. They shouldn’t be able to touch like this, but they were, and it sent intense sparks from where his fingers touched her skin all the way down to her toes. Rey didn’t have to question if he felt it, too. She knew he did.

Ben’s gaze quickly turned from wonder into, dare she say it, desire as he leaned in close enough that she could feel his breath as he said, “Say it.” 

Instinctually, she wrapped her hands into the quilted fabric of his tunic and drew him just a tiny bit closer, never breaking eye contact as she said, “Not even if it meant being with you.”

He engulfed her, lips crashing into hers. She had a brief moment to wonder how they had come to this place, where they were enemies in everything but this. Then she was consumed. 

Ben’s kiss was just like the man himself: passionate, domineering, possessive, and all-encompassing. His tongue demanded entrance into her mouth, and she gave it to him. He tasted surprisingly sweet as he flicked her tongue with his own, and suddenly she needed him closer. She slid her hands up his chest and wrapped them into his thick hair, so soft against her fingers, simultaneously pulling him down to her while his arms wrapped tightly around her waist, bending her back.

It wasn’t until her back was against the trunk of the tree and one of his hands slid up the back of her shirt while the other lifted her leg to wrap around around his waist as he pressed his desire against her, she knew things were completely out of her control. She didn’t like being out of control. So she took authority the only way she could think of in the moment. She sucked his bottom lip between her teeth and bit down. Hard.

Not hard enough to draw blood, or she would have tasted it, but it was enough for him to pull back. Their eyes locked, and she saw his blown pupils and his hair turned even more wild by her grasping hands. He was panting just as hard as she was, and she knew then that he would do anything she asked in that moment if it meant he could touch her again. It was a heady thing, to feel so incredibly _wanted_ , and she rocked her hips against him and decided that she really liked the feeling of friction that caused, so she did it again.

He actually growled as he lowered his head down to her neck. Rey angled her head to the side as he started trailing wet, sucking kisses along her throat until he reached the apex of her neck and shoulder. She gasped as he returned the favor, teeth pressing hard against the the skin there, and it felt _good_.

Placing her hands on his shoulders, she pushed him around until he was the one with his back to the tree. Rey thought briefly that it was interesting he seemed to be able to feel the tree, even if he couldn’t see it, before she latched her mouth to his jaw. Tentatively, she reached down and rubbed the length of him through his pants.

His involuntary buck encouraged her to caress a little harder and she ever so gently nibbled on his ear before surprising herself by whispering, “Take off your clothes.”

She stepped away and he was only too happy to comply. It would register later how ridiculous it was that every article he removed simply vanished as he let it go, but she was too lost in her lust to take note of it now. Then he was standing naked in front of her. 

As she reached for her belt, she suddenly felt nervous again. Was she really going to do this? Rey had never done anything like this before. There had been a few trader boys that managed to steal a kiss from her over the years as they stopped for supplies, but never anything more than that. The current situation was so surreal, Ben was who-knows-where and _right here_ , and also very very naked. 

She distracted herself from her anxiety by taking him in as she undressed. Her eyes trailed along the scar she gave him, the ruggedness of it marring his sensitive face just enough to make it look sexy. Rey saw the blaster bolt scar on his abdomen and felt a little surprised that he had chosen to keep that one. Finally, she took in all of him as she finished disrobing. When her eyes met his again, she was surprised to see an embarrassed flush, and she couldn’t help the wave of tenderness that overcame her at the thought that maybe he was just as inexperienced in all this as she was. His eyes scanned along her body, and she’d swear that he got even more erect at the sight of her, if that was even possible, so she went to him.

They both let out a collective sigh at the feeling of skin on skin, and they spent the next few moments just running their hands along the other. She traced the the scars that had fascinated her as she undressed, and skimmed her hands along the ridges of his abdomen. He trailed his hands up her stomach to circle her breasts, then smoothed them around to her back and down to cup her ass, pulling her closer. 

He groaned as he felt the wetness of her arousal when it brushed against his thigh, and she gasped at the feel of his velvety hard cock against her stomach. His head lowered, and she almost complained at the distance it put between them until his tongue flicked her nipple before he took it into his mouth and rolled, and then it was her turn to moan. He did that for a moment longer before switching his attention to the other breast, and then she was suddenly overtaken by the inexplicable desire to taste him.

Gently, she put a hand on his chest and pushed him back against the tree. He reached for her, but she shook her head and he stopped. She knelt down before him, but there was nothing submissive in the gesture. In fact, she felt incredibly powerful. Rey had the Supreme Leader quivering with desire merely from the stroke of her hand.

Rey decided that she really liked the hiss of his breath and the way his abdomen tensed when she replaced her hand with her tongue and traced the length of his shaft from base to tip. She liked it even more when he cursed as she met his lidded gaze and put him into her mouth. He tasted different than she had expected, less strong and just a little salty, and as she swirled her tongue around the peak, she tasted a little bitterness as a bead of moisture leaked from his tip. 

His eyes were molten as he reached behind her head to thread his fingers through her hair, and while that felt nice, she could feel that he was trying to take control of the situation again. She used the hand that wasn’t wrapped around his base to swat his hands away because _no_ , she was in charge here. His hands shot back and nearly clawed the trunk of the tree, and his head flew back with a loud moan of complete surrender.

She took him deeper into her mouth and started a slow rhythm and let out a contented humm when she swore that she could feel him expand even further in her mouth, but that seemed to be a breaking point for him. Ben put his hands on her shoulders and gently, but firmly, pushed her to an arms length away, which for him was a fairly significant distance.

Ben took a few deep breaths to steady himself, and Rey huffed in frustration as she reached for him again. His grip tightening on her shoulders stopped her just long enough for him to say breathlessly, “Rey...if you don’t want this to end right now...please…”

“And if I do?” she said as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. His eyebrows flashed in brief surprise, almost as if he liked watching her do that. 

He lowered himself down onto his knees in front of her and pulled her in to kiss her again. The kiss was just as passionate as the first, but less desperate. One of his hands gently tugged the band out of her hair, and she sighed into his mouth as his fingers massaged her scalp. His other hand smoothed down her body until it slid between her legs and rubbed a slow circle over what she found to be a deliciously sensitive spot.

“Maybe just a little longer,” she gasped against his mouth, and she could swear she felt him smirk as he lowered her into the grass. His fingers continued their slow circles and Rey closed her eyes and decided to just enjoy the feeling of his lips and hands on her. 

“I’ve been…”he placed a light nip on her earlobe, “wanting to…” he trailed kisses along her collarbone and down between her breasts, “taste you…” his tongue dipped into her belly button, “ever since I saw you on Takodana.”

Her eyes flew open when she felt him spread her legs apart. He hooked one of her knees over his shoulder, and used his other arm to grab her hip and pull her opening closer to him. She met his eyes right as his mouth latched onto her and that felt better than she could have imagined. 

She had to stifle a loud moan with her fist as his tongue lapped between her folds. Soon, his tongue was replaced with a finger while his mouth went back to tantalizing her clit. The sensation started to create a wonderfully torturous tension to build and her hand reached down to tear at the grass, but she found the hand that Ben wasn’t using to drive her wild was braced there instead. 

A second finger entered her and she gasped because the stretching sensation was a little painful. His hand turned underneath hers and slid along until his fingers were threaded through her own. The rhythm he set with his hand soon had her toes curling and back arching as she pressed herself closer to the ministrations of his mouth and fingers. Then, his fingers curved inside her and he hit this spot and the tension that had coiled up burst in a sudden rush that sent fire all through her body and her grip on his hand tightened as she cried out her release.

His mouth found hers, and while she could taste herself on his lips, the kiss was slow, surprisingly gentle, and almost...no...she wasn’t ready to admit that yet. When the kiss ended, Ben brushed her hair out of her face. She met his searching gaze with her own. Rey didn’t know what he was looking for, but he seemed to find it. Smoothing a gentle caress along her cheek he said, “I’ve never wanted anyone like this before you. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything as much as I want you, Rey.” She could feel his tip as it lined up with her entrance.

“Except power.”

The words are out of her mouth before she realized it and their painful truth rang clear through the air between them. She watched as he froze and the words registered. When the hurt and shame flashed through his eyes, he started to pull away, but she wrapped her legs around his hips and clasped his face between her palms, refusing to let him tear his gaze away from hers, “No. I want this. I want _you_ ,” she lifted herself just enough to place a gentle kiss to his lips, “Please don’t leave me again.”

He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against her own. She didn’t know what he was feeling, but she gently caressed his cheeks with her thumbs. When he opened them again, his gaze was beseeching, asking for her consent. She gave a small nod granting it, and then he was inside her.

She couldn’t help the cry of pain as he thrust into her, and he immediately stopped. His large hands brushed her forehead as she clamped her eyes closed against the burn of her body stretching to fit him. His lips grazed hers in a kiss.

“I’m sorry,” he ever so gently pulled out and then eased himself back in. His kisses moved to her cheek, her closed eyes, and her forehead, each with their own “I’m sorry” as he slowly got her body used to him with each thrust getting just a little deeper. After his careful ministrations, the burn had faded to a mere twinge and she started to feel the pleasure of him filling her with each thrust eliciting a small gasp from her lips. 

Experimentally, she tried meeting his next thrust with one of her own and it felt incredible. It obviously felt good to him too because he moaned her name. His head buried into her shoulder and his pace increased, which she matched. 

That tension started to build in her core again, and she wrapped her legs tighter around his hips, allowing him to go deeper. She revelled in their symbiotic rhythm and ran her hands down his back. The raking of her nails sent him over, and he cried out. The feel of him pulsing inside her sent her spiraling, except this time when she did it was so much more. She felt completely in tune to everything around her, that euphoric _balance_ that was the Force. The ecstacy became too much, and she unwound with his name on her lips.

Afterwards, they entwined themselves around each other. His arms embraced her and she had her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat as she traced small circles on his stomach, their legs were still entangled. Neither of them knew how long this would last. It had already been the longest their bond had connected them, and Rey could feel it slowly slipping away. He must have too because he placed a kiss to the top of her head and his arms squeezed her ever so gently as he said, “I made a mistake, not choosing you.”

She used his chest for leverage as she raised up to lean over him. She kissed him, and it was sweet and gentle and everything they both needed it to be. When she broke the kiss, she caressed his cheek fondly.

“Mistakes can be fixed.”

Then he was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...my first reylo fic! Yay! Yes, it's another Force Bond Sex fic. I'm also incredibly nervous since this is the first smut piece I've ever written...ever. I'm taking my knowledge of the universe only from the saga movies and Rogue One, so if I'm portraying a force bond completely wrong, sorry about that, I'm just going off of what's on the screen.
> 
> This could potentially turn into a series, so if you'd be interested in reading that, please let me know with comments and kudos! If you're not interested in a series, that's okay too, but if you like it, please let me know because I'm super nervous about it. 
> 
> Thanks and I hope you enjoyed it!


	2. A New Rule

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo is feeling disillusioned with the First Order, then his bond with Rey reignites.  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! First let me say I'm so sorry that this chapter took so long. When I decided to turn it into a full blown fic, I realized that I needed to do a ton of research, then I had some story holes I needed to figure out, and then finally I had to write and go through the beta reading process. Hopefully the fact that it's nearly twice the length of chapter one made it worth the wait! 
> 
> Also, just a quick note. I realized that my biggest problem for continuing the story was figuring out how Ben got from where he was at the end of TLJ to where he is in the first chapter, so this chapter actually backtracks quite a bit. The plus side? You get to read chapter one from his perspective!

_I am free._

That’s what Kylo kept telling himself since that moment his grandfather’s saber had cleaved Snoke in two. He had never realized just how oppressive Snoke’s presence was in his mind until it was gone. It had been an inescapable weight slowly drowning him for years and then, suddenly, as the Supreme Leader’s lifeless body crumpled unceremoniously to the chamber floor, he was liberated.

Almost immediately afterwards, he’d felt the conflict. Had he just done the right thing? He had killed _Snoke_ , the voice that had been in his head for more than two decades. Who was he without that darkness pressing against him? Then he looked down, and _she_ was there: the girl, the scavenger, _Rey_ , and her eyes seemed to tell him everything he needed to know in that moment. There was awe and disbelief. Kylo thought that maybe Rey had believed he was going to kill her, and for just a split second anger flooded through him at the idea. How could she not know that he had never wished her death? Not even as she tore his face apart on _Starkiller_. They were equals. He had kept the scar as proof of that. When she showed up on the Supremacy, he had known that he would protect her. They were meant to stand together. He had seen it, and he’d known he would have to kill Snoke to make it happen.

Ever since the moment he had first read her mind and seen her past, her loneliness, Kylo felt that he had a unique understanding of her. She had spent the majority of her childhood alone, deserted by the people who should have loved her. He had spent his childhood surrounded by people who swore to love him, yet all of them had abandoned him once they discovered the true extent of his darkness. Kylo saw Rey for who she truly was underneath the facade she seemed to show others, and he’d thought maybe she could accept him, his darkness and light.

He had been wrong.

After they had defeated Snoke’s Praetorian Guard together, and oh how _right_ that had been, he wanted to go to her, to make her _his_ , and for a split second the look of longing on her face matched his, and then she turned away. To _them_. It was at that moment that he heard the whispers, pulling him to the dark. Kylo was used to that pull carrying the essence of the Supreme Leader but this, for obvious reasons, felt different. Purer. Darker. Intoxicating. _Powerful._

Snoke’s death left a very large power vacuum that needed to be filled, and only a dark side user would truly be able to grasp enough power and control to rule the whole galaxy. There was only one person strong enough in the dark to take the mantle of Supreme Leader. It was right. It was _his._

“Ben?”

Her voice called to him, and as he looked back at her he _wanted_. He had all this power, and she was the only person he could ever see sharing it with. So he offered her everything he had: himself and an entire galaxy.

She had betrayed him, and he would have to destroy her.

***

That was then. Now all he wanted was to see her again. His last vision of her as she slammed the _Falcon’s_ door shut still haunted him. It had been months since then, but still he could not get the image out of his mind. It was seared there, an engraving that would never fade, her disappointment, grief, and longing forever burned into his memory. He knew now that he should have listened to her when she told him not to go this way. 

Being Supreme Leader was naturally demanding, it just wasn’t in the way he had expected. It wasn’t the decisions that were difficult. What was onerous was that he constantly felt like his instincts on what he should do as a leader conflicted with what the First Order mandated that he do. He found himself wanting to grant mercy where the First Order demanded ruthlessness. If he was completely honest with himself, he had doubts about the methods of the organization ever since the destruction of the Hosnian System. Kylo had told Snoke that his goals could be accomplished without the use of such excessive force, that the girl could give them all the information they needed to find Skywalker, but Snoke had wanted to destroy the New Republic once and for all. Hux had been only too happy to comply if it meant testing out his new super weapon. Kylo could not see the point in conquering a galaxy if there was nothing left to rule once the struggle was over.

He was coming to realize that the main difference between himself and the previous Supreme Leader was their opposing views on collateral damage. Snoke gathered his power through cruelty, and now that Kylo was free of his influence he was conscious of the fact that he utilized the darkness in a very different way. Kylo knew that when he channeled his pain and anger, that was when he was strongest with the Dark Side. Every time Kylo had been needlessly cruel towards others, his powers had waned. He thought maybe that was Snoke’s tactic all along. After all, if Kylo was weakened by his actions, like how he felt after killing his...Han Solo...then he would never be able to exceed his master. His internal conflict with the light was an easy scapegoat to explain his deficiency, all while allowing the vicious tyrant to use Ren’s power to strengthen his own.

Not that Kylo blamed him. He would have done the same thing in Snoke’s place.

“Supreme Leader?” Hux’s impatient voice broke him from his reverie and Kylo was abruptly brought back to the reality before him. 

Kylo was on Dinzo, a planet the Order had easily taken over after the destruction of the Hosnian System. The cortosis located under the planet’s surface was invaluable for the production of Stormtrooper weapons. There had been a few abandoned mines leftover from the Empire that still had a few large veins of the mineral, and Kylo had given Hux the go ahead to get them back up and running.

In retrospect, he probably should have looked over all the details. Kylo certainly hadn’t been expecting what he saw upon arrival. The mine was up and running at full capacity and at first, he noticed nothing amiss. It looked just like any other mine, completely covered in a fine brown grime, and, just like any valuable deposit of natural resources, he expected the site to be guarded. 

However, on closer inspection, the Stormtroopers were not armed with their typical blasters or riot batons, but with electro-whips. Also, the majority of the workers were not human, but various alien species from the region, mostly Wookie, which was logical given their proximity to Kashyyk, their homeworld. What bewildered him were the chains around the workers’ legs and the cauterized slash marks on their backs.

“What...is this?” Kylo asked.

Kylo summoned all the stoic disapproval of a leader that he could muster, and turned it on the ginger haired man standing pompously at his side. Hux’s blue eyes met his own, and damned if the man didn’t raise his nose even further into the air. The general had always had an over-inflated sense of importance and while he had been relatively compliant since Ren took over for Snoke, it was these microaggressions that gave him no doubt that Armitage would take advantage of the first opportunity to rid himself of the current Supreme Leader.

“The mines are up and running, just as you ordered.”

At that moment, he heard the _whizz-snap-sizzle_ of an electro-whip striking flesh. A keening wail sounded from a black haired wookie. He was not much taller than Kylo himself, making the Wookie little more than a child. Ren couldn’t help the flood of grief as he remembered a similarly pained howl right before being shot with Chewbacca’s bowcaster. The flashback brought up a swell of self-loathing and anger, and with it that overflowing darkness that he knew so well. He turned the power on Hux, slamming the man against the side of the building. Kylo pinched his fingers into a claw and revelled in watching Hux’s face turn red as he was choked.

“I _did not_ order _this_ ,” Kylo spat, “Do you not remember when the First Order _liberated_ that labor camp on Iktotch?”

“A...human...camp…”

He couldn’t help the small sense of satisfaction as he saw the blood vessels bulging in Hux’s neck, “ _I don’t care_ if they’re human or not. These people are citizens of the First Order, and will be treated as such. Now _get those chains off_ and send these people home. You want to get this camp up and running? Look to our prisons. Do I make myself clear?”

“...Yes...”

Kylo squeezed just a little harder and saw a vessel burst in Hux’s eye, “Yes, what?”

“...Yes...Supreme...Leader...,” the unbearable man choked out. 

Abruptly, he released his choke hold and Hux fell to the ground, coughing and gasping. Kylo turned and started walking towards his shuttle, spinning back when he reached the ramp. “Oh, and General?”

Hux’s face matched his hair as he turned his loathing gaze on Ren. 

“If I ever hear about anything like this again, it will be your legs in chains.”

He didn’t wait for a response. Kylo knew his orders would be followed...for now.

***

Exhausted, Kylo returned to his chambers once he was back onboard the _Finalizer_. All he wanted was to wash away the grime of the mines and forget about the day’s events. He knew that continuing to provoke Hux would probably come back to him in a very negative way some day, but today he’d shown the General, and everyone watching, that slavery, whether of humans or alien species, would not be tolerated in _his_ First Order.

The splash of cool water on his face revived him a little, and it was as he was washing his hands that he felt it. The _pull_ he had been waiting for for months. He spun around and walked back into his quarters, following the sensation, and there she was, lying in the middle of his floor with her eyes closed and her hands folded over her stomach.

At first, he thought she looked almost peaceful, but as he got closer he saw how her brow was furrowed and rather than restful, her face looked almost pained. Seeing her here, he couldn’t help the small sense of relief he felt knowing once and for all that their bond wasn’t completely broken. He had worried after the _Falcon_ that maybe she had figured out a way to close herself off from it.

Kylo almost reached out to her before reminding himself that she hated him. He had thought, for the brief time between their hands touching and her turning away from him to go back to the Resistance, that just maybe she felt...something...for him. However, Rey taking his grandfather’s saber in order to strike him down in the throne room was all the proof he needed of how she truly felt. He wanted to hate her for it, but he just...couldn’t. What he felt now towards her was betrayal, made even more intense because he knew that that wasn’t all he felt. She had said she would help him, but the second he had followed a path not of her making, she tried to cut him down. _Just like Skywalker…_

Kylo knew he was a monster, but was he truly so evil?

The thought brought the darkness welling up inside him again. He clenched his fists, holding back the flood, because he wasn’t sure what it would do to their connection. Almost as if she could sense the shift in the force, she opened her eyes. She gasped in alarm once she registered who was standing above her and scrambled to her feet. Ah, there it was. The fear.

Yet as her gaze met his, he didn’t see the hatred he was so familiar with in her stare. That look of abhorrence she’d had on _Starkiller_ and in those first few bonded moments. Instead, he saw something else as a tear trickled from her eye. Was that...shame? He was still trying to hold back the force building around him, but her expression gave him a little hope. He had to know once and for all. So he stated his truth.

“You tried to kill me.”

“No, I didn’t,” her response was immediate as shock marred her delicate features at the accusation, “I was trying to escape you.”

His first instinct was to call her a liar. Yet her eyes shone with sincerity. She’d never lied to him, just like he’d never lied to her. If Kylo was being honest with himself, he knew that if Rey had really wanted him dead he never would have woken up on the _Supremacy_ to find her gone. The onslaught of relief he felt was so strong that he had to close his eyes as it crushed the darkness that he had been barely holding back. The tension he had built up in his body eased, but left him exhausted. When he opened his eyes again, he felt a twinge in his chest as he watched her. He still had one question to ask. 

“Why did you leave?”

“You know why.” 

“The _Resistance_.” Just saying it out loud brought a bad taste that he had no choice but to roll around in his mouth.

She gave him a simple, “Yes,” in response.

“Can’t you see how pointless the Resistance is? Supporting a government that’s failed not once, but _twice_?”

“It’s not about the politics, Ben. It’s about the _people_.”

Oh yes, Kylo knew all about her _people_. He remembered all too clearly how FN-2187 had cradled Rey in the snow, calling her name, risking a fight he knew he couldn’t win to protect her. From _him_. “The _traitor_.”

That seemed to light a fire in her. “Yes, Finn. He was my first friend. The very first person to give a damn about me that I can remember. He’s the closest thing I have to a family. And then there’s your mother,” he knew the jab of his family tie was meant to get a reaction from him, and he cursed himself that he couldn’t stop the grimace before it flitted across his features, “but it’s not just about them,” she continued, “I could never join a group that killed _billions_ of people to get what it wanted. Not even-”

She stepped back abruptly, realizing that in her passionate speech, she had been about to reveal something she hadn’t intended. What had she been about to say? Kylo scanned back through her words in his head. She had voiced the same concerns he had been feeling about the First Order for awhile now. But wait...she said she couldn’t join them. That meant that at least for a brief moment, she had considered it. She had considered leaving the Resistance...the traitor...for him? Oh no, she was not going to evade that easily. 

He tried to ignore the rapid pace of his heartbeat as he stepped as close as he had the courage to, familiar with the old intimidation tactics but overwhelmed by her scent, bright like sunlight, that shouldn’t even be possible for him to smell, “Not even what?”

Rey swallowed and wouldn’t meet his eyes, and Kylo swore he heard her breathing hitch as he reached out to touch her chin, their connection sparking alive at the skin to skin contact. When she finally raised her amber eyes to his, there was no repulsion, similar to when she had touched him after her exploration of the dark side nexus on Ahch-To, but wonder. Their connection obviously affected her just as much as him. His eyes flitted down to her lips, which were parted sensuously. His body came alive with the realization that he wanted to kiss them, but he needed to find out what she was hiding from him. If it was what he thought it might be, nothing would be able to hold him back.

“Say it,” he dared.

For a fraction of a second, he thought that maybe she would fold. He should have known better. Rey was not the type to back down from a challenge. His stomach did a slow roll, sending pleasurable anticipation shooting throughout his body as her fingers fisted into his tunic, drawing him closer. Her eyes were fire when she said, “Not even if it meant being with you,” and Kylo couldn’t restrain himself any longer.

_Yes_ his whole being cried as his lips crashed into hers. Rey didn’t respond at first, but it lasted only a fraction of a second until she was kissing back just as fiercely. He deepened the kiss and she let him, his tongue dancing sensuously with hers. His desire reached a fever pitch at the feel of her hands running up his chest and fisting into his hair, pulling him closer as if she was starving. For him.

He needed her. All of her. _Now_. Kylo backed her against the wall of his chamber and grabbed her thigh to hitch it around his waist, her heat radiating against the bulge straining against his pants. It wasn’t enough. He needed more. He needed to touch every part of her. Sliding his hand under her shirt, he groaned at the warmth of her bare back against his palm.

Then, the little scavenger _bit_ him. 

Bottom lip stinging and swollen, he pulled back, thinking that maybe he had gotten carried away, frightening her. He was surprised to see that wasn’t the case at all as her hazel irises looked nearly black her pupils were so large, and her perfect chest rose and fell at a rapid pace just like his own. Still, she had bitten him for a reason, so he waited. It was torture. 

She must have liked what she saw in his face, because she decided to roll her hips against his arousal. The sensation nearly took his legs out from under him, and he had to prop a hand against the wall to keep his footing. When she did it again, her head arching back in pleasure as her eyes closed, his very limited patience snapped. With a growl that sounded animalistic even to his ears, he claimed her neck and revelled in the gasp that slipped through her lips when he returned the favor, biting the join of neck and shoulder. 

Surprising him with her strength, she flipped them around, his back hit the wall and then her lips were kissing along his jaw. Kylo didn’t think the skin there would be so sensitive, but the tingling sensation that shot through him told him otherwise. Her hand rubbed against him through his clothes and his body reacted involuntarily, thrusting into her hand at the pleasure. He was surprised by the shock of bliss he felt when she sucked his earlobe into her mouth and rolled it gently between her teeth, her hot breath whispering into his ear.

“Take off your clothes.”

It was an order, and the Supreme Leader was only too happy to obey. 

Rey waited for him to finish undressing before starting on her own clothes. She was torturously slow, and Kylo wanted to take over and rip the offending garments off her so he could feel her against him again. Then he saw the shy blush on her cheeks as she looked him over while disrobing and he knew this was something she had to do for herself. Kylo had never before had an occasion to feel self-conscious about his body, but as her gaze roamed over his many scars and took in his length, he couldn’t help his answering flush. No woman had ever seen him so completely before.

Gloriously sun-kissed and freckled from her days on that god-forsaken planet, and delicately toned from years of climbing through ship graveyards, her body was a marvel as she bared all for him. He didn’t know who reached for the other first, but soon he had her back in his arms where she belonged. The Force seemed to sing as they explored each other’s bodies, their sighs intermingling. Her touch was a balm, soothing the old wounds on his body with her gentle touch. 

His hands fit perfectly, cupping her ass as he drew her closer, the sensation of hands on skin not being nearly enough. When he felt how wet she already was just from their kisses and his touch, he couldn’t help the groan that escaped. She gasped at the feel of him pressed flush against her. The pebbles of her aroused nipples were tantalizing as he sucked and twirled them with his tongue. Her pleased moan caused him to get even harder than he already was.

He quivered when her hand spread against his stomach, pushing him back. She was too far away and he reached for her, but when she shook her head, he forced himself to stop. He needed what was happening to be completely her choice. Rey surprised him by slowly bringing herself onto her knees, eyes never leaving his, saying that while she may be kneeling in front of him, she was nobody’s servant. The feel of her hand as it wrapped around the base of his shaft was exquisite torture, and he shivered as her tongue traced along his length. 

It was suddenly hard to breath as that delightful tongue of hers twirled around his tip. When she took him into her mouth, eyes never leaving his and burning with desire for him, he cursed. He needed _more_. Kylo reached out to thread his fingers through her downy hair, but when her hand reached up and slapped his hands away, the mix of pain and pleasure literally had him clawing at the wall behind him.

Her head bobbed in a slow rhythm, taking him deeper into her mouth. The sensation of her lips catching on that oh-so-sensitive spot under the fold of his head built a delicious tension in his body. When she let out a contented humm, the vibration traveled along him, nearly sending him over the edge. He forced himself to reach down and grasp her shoulders, pulling her away from him because he knew that if he let her continue her ministrations, that would be the end of what was happening. And he _did not_ want this to be the end. He told her as much between the steadying breaths he forced himself to take when she reached for him again.

“And if I do?” her challenge, mixed with the sight of her wiping her mouth after the lascivious act she had just performed was...incredibly sexy. Bringing himself down to her level, he aimed to show her just what she would be missing. He kissed her again, slower this time but just as deep. Kylo’s right hand threaded through her hair, tugging the binding out so he could completely incase his fingers in the feathery softness. He adored the contented sigh she breathed into his mouth as his fingers massaged her scalp. His left hand he used for other, more sensuous pursuits as he trailed it down her body, rubbing his thumb over her nipple and circling her hip before diving to her core, gently rubbing the sensitive spot. Her arousal already coated his fingers.

The gasp of pleasure she released broke their kiss, and Rey used the space to groan, “Maybe just a little longer,” against his lips.

Kylo couldn’t help the lopsided quirk of his mouth at the small victory. Rejoicing in her submission to his ministrations, he gently lowered her to the floor. He kissed all the places he’d thought about ever since he first saw her in that forest on Takodana. Her body responded in sighs and quivers as he traced a trail down her body that tasted just like she smelled, sweet as the sun with just a hint of soap.

He needed to taste _her_. Rey’s eyes, which had been closed in titillation at his kisses, flew open as he spread her legs to settle between her thighs, hooking one leg over his shoulder to allow more room for his broad shoulders. Kylo made sure she was looking into his eyes as he took her bud into his mouth.

Her head immediately flew back at the sensation. She tasted sweet and musky when he lapped a tongue between her folds, and oh how he liked making her moan. His tongue could only reach so far, and he replaced it with a finger, returning his mouth to her clit as his finger drove into her. Her hand clamped around the wrist that wasn’t pleasuring her as her body arched to his rhythm.

Rey was already so tight around his digit that he instinctively knew if he didn’t prepare her, she would never be able to accept his girth. He slid a second finger inside. The gasp that came with the sensation didn’t seem to be completely of pain, but the fingers around his wrist clenched. Kylo turned his palm around, threading their hands together to give her something to help her find purchase. Soon, he was able to glide in and out of her center with ease. Her body rose to meet every plunge and he knew she was close to release. 

Still enjoying the taste of her, he pushed against the ridge he found inside her. As if he had pressed some sort of button, she clenched around him, her walls spasming with her heartbeat as she cried out in ecstacy. It was beautiful. _She_ was beautiful.

She wrapped her arms languorously around his back as he rose to kiss her mouth with a gentleness that surprised even himself. Drinking in the taste of herself from his lips, Rey returned the kiss just as softly. Kylo was completely overwhelmed by his feelings.

_I love her._

The realization was a dangerous one. They were still enemies. That didn’t stop his epiphany from being any less true. Ending the kiss as gently as he began it, he brushed the hair from her forehead and looked for even a small iota of what he felt in her lidded gaze. His heart clenched because as he saw himself reflected in her eyes...he did see it...a glimmer of affection...but also fear and uncertainty. 

Her cheek was so soft as he caressed it. Kylo tried to ignore the way his heart flipped as she leaned her face into his touch. Being cognizant that she wasn’t ready to admit her feelings, or even hear his, he said something he knew she would accept.

“I’ve never wanted anyone like this before you,” he admitted, in case she had any doubts. It was true. There had been a girl at Skywalker’s temple, back when he was a hormonal teenager, who had granted him a few kisses. That had quickly fizzled under the power of Snoke’s whispers. It had been nothing compared to what he felt for Rey. Kylo had tried so hard to fight the feelings that rose up in him at her awakening, but even with Snoke’s warnings and manipulations, he hadn’t been able to set her aside. “I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything as much as I want you, Rey.”

He lined himself up with her entrance, still dripping from her previous orgasm, and was just about to plunge when he heard, “Except power.”

The words froze him in place because they were true. He did want power. He would always want power. Her eyes swam with her feelings of rejection and it broke something in him because he realized that maybe she had been just as hurt by his actions on the _Supremacy_ as he was by hers. His ever present self-loathing rose up, and with it a tidal wave of darkness so strong he feared it would overwhelm them both. He tried to pull away, but she wrapped around him like a Geniserian sand monkey and grasped his face between her hands.

“No. I want this. I want _you_.”

It was exactly what he wanted and needed to hear, but he was afraid that the wave was too strong. The power needed release and the last thing he wanted was to hurt her. Again. He was about to untangle himself from her forcefully when she kissed him gently and a wave of light washed over him. It scorched and soothed the darkness. Her eyes were radiant as she pleaded, “Please don’t leave me again.”

He didn’t think she knew what she had just done, but as he touched his forehead to hers and her thumbs rubbed gentle circles on his cheeks, he could feel the feedback loop she had created. Her light and his darkness ebbed and flowed between them in a perfect balance. Rey truly was incredible. She was just a scavenger from Jakku, a nobody. Yet she was so quickly becoming his _everything_. Kylo needed her like he needed oxygen.

When he finally had the strength to meet her eyes again, they gave him all the consent he needed. He started to thrust into her, but he only got a small way when she cried out in pain. Rey’s eyes clamped shut and he fought through the overwhelming feeling of being inside her to brush his hands soothingly along her forehead. 

Kylo slowly eased himself out of her and pushed back in, a little further this time. He tried to soothe her pain with kisses and apologies as he went deeper with each thrust until he was hilted inside her. He was sorry that this hurt her when it felt like heaven to him. He was sorry for _all_ the things he’d done that hurt her. He was sorry that his thirst for power had caused her pain. But most of all, he was sorry for being unable to be the man she seemed to think he could be. 

Shaking with the effort to control himself, he forced a masochistically slow pace in order to allow her body to conform to his. Her walls were incredibly tight around him, the friction a sensation he didn’t even know he had been missing until now. His thrusts started to elicit pleasant little gasps, and when she met one with a buck of her hips, he knew he could finally let himself get lost in her.

“Rey…” he moaned as he became entirely overcome, burying his head into her neck. Everything was astounding: her fragrance, the feel of sheathing himself inside her, her arms holding onto him for dear life, the sounds of their bodies meeting and the gasps that escaped their lips. Most of all it was the feelings of balance and belonging as the Force circulated in that loop between them. When her nails raked down his back, adding just a touch of pain to the devastating pleasure, he burst.

She followed just after, and as she did he felt the Force energies that she had been channeling release in a flood of power as she cried out his name. His _true_ name. The name that had been forbidden for so long. He thought it had been dead and buried, but he could feel it wake up inside of him. It was just a sliver, but it was there.

He forced himself to roll off her before he collapsed. She followed him, wrapping her legs through his and burrowing her head underneath his arm to lie gently on his chest. They stayed like that for awhile, not saying anything, just _being_. He didn’t know what all this meant, but he did have one thing he had to tell her. It had to be now, because as much as Kylo wanted this moment to last for eternity, he could already feel the space stretching between them as the bond started to fade.

“I made a mistake, not choosing you.”

Rey smiled softly as he kissed her head, and after she returned his quick embrace, she raised herself up onto his chest and looked down at him. Her hair was tousled, her eyes dancing with happiness as she kissed him so sweetly he ached.

“Mistakes can be fixed.”

With a final caress to his cheek, she was gone.

Later, as he lay in bed pondering over the truth of her words, Kylo knew she was right. He would do everything in his power to repair what he had broken in that throne room...

But how?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think. Constructive criticism is always appreciated.


	3. A Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> In honor of my birthday...you all get a new chapter! Yay! Happy Birthday to me! Also, my first non-smut chapter. Hopefully it doesn't suck. Thank you all for your comments and kudos. They are greatly appreciated and a great motivation to keep writing.

_I don’t feel any different._

Rey felt a lot of things, but different wasn’t one of them. The image reflected back to her in the mirror of her guest chambers hadn’t changed either. When she wrinkled her nose, the same smattering of freckles winked back at her. Not that she had been expecting some great transformation, but her previous supposition was that after she lost her virginity, _something_ would change. She shrugged and pulled her hair back, binding it with a simple tie.

Girlish preconceptions put to rest, she focused on how she _did_ feel. For the first time in months, Rey had slept well. The combination of the physical release and her words with Ben had done wonders for her insomnia. She woke up feeling rested, a little sore between her legs, and more hopeful towards the future than she had been in a long time. Things would work out somehow, she knew. Now all Rey had to do was have faith in Ben and wait. But waiting didn’t have to be idle.

The palace handmaiden assigned to her room had hung up a dress for her. Rey sighed as she took in the flowing skirts and delicately embroidered bodice. It was beautiful, but someone should really tell the woman that it made absolutely no sense for a jedi. Not to mention that Rey would feel so out of place in anything that fine. No matter what she wore, she was still just the girl who grew up scavenging on Jakku, trading portions for what she could afford.

Reaching under her bed, she pulled out the folded garments she had hidden there the night before. She’d already had two perfectly good ensembles that had been given to her on D’Qar disposed of by the maid. After she dressed, she observed herself in the mirror again. Her outfit was simple, a white shirt and a navy wrap tunic held together by a brown belt, paired with grey pants and boots. It wasn’t fancy like the dress, but it was just more _her._

Stuffing the last biscuit from her breakfast tray into her mouth, she made her way into the main corridor. No sooner had she shut her door than a flurry of happy beeps wishing her a good morning and asking her how she was greeted her ears. BB-8 came rolling up beside her, his hemispheric head looked up and wiggled happily.

She reached down and tapped the droid’s head affectionately, “Good morning to you, too, BB-8.”

No sooner had she said her salutations than the owner of the astromech came strolling around the corner. Poe was wearing his typical bright orange flight suit, obviously about to head out on some drills in the new fighter ship that was being loaned to him from the Naboo Bravo Squadron. Poe took one look at her and whistled, “Looking good, Sunshine.”

He had taken to calling her that recently, and Rey couldn’t say she minded too much. She’d never had a nickname other than “girl” or “scavenger” before. Ben should really work on that.

“I look the same as I’ve looked every other day,” she stated, gesturing towards her ensemble.

“No,” he waved a hand in front of her and looked her up and down, as if he was trying to puzzle out what was different, “You’re all...glowing…” his face lit up at a sudden realization, “Who is he? Or she, a she is good, too.”

Rey couldn’t help the blush that spread across her face because of just how close he was.

“None of your business, that’s who.”

“So there is someone!” he grinned. 

BB-8, who had been looking back and forth between the two of them let out a happy whistle. The hopeful part of Rey wanted to admit the truth. The smarter part knew what a terrible idea that was. So she decided to extricate herself from the situation before she said even more that she might regret. Smiling cryptically, she turned and started walking down the hall, shaking her head. 

“I want to meet them!” he shouted after her.

_No, you really don’t…_

***

“This is useless,” Rey grumbled in frustration, rubbing her hands over her face.

She sat at a table by the window in the Theed Palace library. The sun shone brightly through the gargantuan window, offering Rey a good source of natural light so that she could examine the spread in front of her. Her lightsaber needed to be fixed, and with the help of one of Master Luke’s books she had just managed to disassemble the entire weapon. 

Overall, it did not look good. Some superficial pieces like the magnetic stabilizing ring and belt ring were intact, but more essential pieces like the diatium power cell were fried. The focusing crystal was pulverized, but she could pretty easily find that and another cell in Theed. The kyber crystal that was the blade’s heart, however, was dead. The Force of it no longer called to her like it once did, but was completely silent, as if it had given its life energy to create the blast that tore it, as well as Ben and her, apart. Tiny fissures ran all along its surface.

“Well, that doesn’t look good.”

Rey just about jumped out of her skin at the sound of Rose’s voice by her ear. She had been so engrossed in her tinkering that she hadn’t heard her approach. Turning abruptly, she saw the petite woman take a step back and raise her arms in mock surrender. 

“Whoa. Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“That’s okay,” she rolled her shoulders to release some of the tension that had built up there while she hunched over her work, “I was just so focused on this,” Rey spread her arms over the mess in front of her, “that I didn’t hear you come in.”

Rose plunked down into the chair opposite from her, “Yeah, I get that. Sometimes, when I’m elbows deep in an engine, I completely lose track of everything around me. I just saw you as I was walking by,” she pointed out the window to the walkway beyond, “and thought I’d come see what you were doing.”

“Nothing, apparently. I seem to have hit a wall.”

Gesturing to the schematic drawing Rey had made, Rose asked, “May I?” 

She shrugged her ascent. Rose picked up the drawing and examined it closely, then examined each of the pieces on the table in turn. “Is this your design?” Rey nodded, “It’s very elegant. I’ve never heard of a lightsaber like this before. Are you sure it can be done?”

“I saw some pictures in one of Master Luke’s books, so I think so. This is my best approximation of how based on the structure and mechanics of this lightsaber,” Rey explained.

“Well, the good news is I can get you everything you need, except this,” her finger tapped the kyber crystal, “I’ve heard of this gem before, but it’s incredibly rare now because the Empire depleted most of the known resources back before I was born, and what they didn’t take, the First Order has.”

“That’s pretty much the same conclusion I came to,” Rey sighed dejectedly.

They both sat there for a moment, at a loss. Then Rose perked up and snapped her fingers excitedly, “Rey, do your books tell you where the jedi used to get their kyber? I mean, I know about the temple on Jedha, but that was destroyed. That couldn’t have been their only source, right?”

Rey pondered that for a moment, “I’m not sure. Most of what I’ve found in the books is philosophical, not practical. The only reason I was able to come up with that,” she gestured towards her schematic, “was because there were illustrations of something similar in a book about different fighting forms.”

Rose placed her chin in her hand ponderingly, “Hmm...well...I’m done with my shift for today. Would you like me to help you look through the books to see if we find anything?”

Overcome with gratitude and the feeling of friendship, Rey nodded, “Thank you, Rose.”

She shrugged, “It’s the least I can do. You’ve got the fate of a whole galaxy resting on your shoulders, being the only one who can fight Kylo Ren on his terms.” 

Rey tried to keep her expression impassive. Most of the Resistance seemed to anticipate some great battle between Rey and Kylo. Light and Dark fighting for supremacy once and for all. In the wake of Luke’s sacrifice to spark the Resistance back to life, Rey didn’t have the heart to correct them. She knew that killing Ben was not the way to win this war. Things were already in motion that could bring a peaceful resolution to the problem of the First Order. Somehow, she didn’t think that the generals or her friends would take too kindly to that idea in the face of all that they had lost. Nor did she think they would be receptive to the thought of Rey moaning in ecstacy underneath the Supreme Leader as he filled her.

The thought and memory brought a flush to Rey’s cheeks. Rose immediately noticed and reached out to grasp her hand, “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to embarrass you or make you nervous. It’s crazy. I used to be so jealous of you, but once I found out what was lying on your shoulders…” she trailed off with a shake of her head. 

“Jealous...of me? Why?”

Now it was her turn to blush as she twirled an ebony piece of fringe between her fingers, “Finn...when I first met him...you were all he talked about. You were all that mattered to him. I was completely convinced he was in love with you.”

Sandwiching Rose’s hand between hers, Rey gave it a gentle squeeze. “Finn and I _do_ love each other...just not that way.”

“Oh, I know that _now_ ,” Rose responded, her blush indicative of just _how_ she knew, “And once I met you, there was no way I could keep myself from liking you.”

The vulnerable admission was truly touching. That was what was so endearing about Rose. She never hid how she felt about anything. Rey found her openness to be genuinely refreshing after spending a life keeping her thoughts to herself. It inspired her to be more unreserved in turn.

“Nor I you,” Rey’s smile revealed the camaraderie she sincerely felt for the woman across from her.

Clearing her throat in embarrassed pleasure, Rose gingerly picked up one of the ancient tomes, “All right, let’s get to work.”

***

“I think I found something!” Rose exclaimed gleefully after what seemed like an eternity of paging through the old books. Rey rose from her chair and went to stand behind the technician so she could see the page over the exuberant woman’s shoulder. It wasn’t much, but there in the middle of the musty page was a faded painting. It showed what appeared to be a large temple chamber with two hooded statues as its focal point. They both held lightsabers, one in a position of attack, one in defense. At the top of the chamber was a huge crystalline light that washed the sanctuary in a cool blue glow, much like that of her lightsaber. Rey felt that familiar tug from the Force telling her they were onto something.

“Nice job!” she gave the woman a friendly squeeze on the shoulder, “Does it say where this is?”

Rose squinted at the page, trying to make out the faded text. Her face fell, “No, it’s too old to make out much of anything.”

“Still,” Rey gingerly picked up the book and studied the page, committing it to memory, “this is more than I had yesterday. Thank you for your help.”

“That’s what friends are for,” Rose grinned up at her.

_Friends._ The idea was still something of a novel concept to her, but a happy one nevertheless.

***

“Come in,” Leia’s voice met Rey from the other side of the door. _She sounds so tired_ , Rey thought as she pushed the control that would allow her entrance to the General’s quarters. It was much grander than Rey’s own, with its own front entryway and sitting room, the bedchamber in another room off to the side. 

Leia stood in front of the massive window that looked out onto the Palace’s main courtyard. There was something so beautifully tragic about the picture of the General in an elegant but somber grey dress, her hair still in what she had told Rey were Alderaan mourning braids, and backlit by the sunset. She truly looked like the princess she had been. No, not a princess. She was a queen.

“I’m sorry to bother you,” Rey apologized from the threshold of the room, clutching the book with the image Rose had found to her chest.

A tender smile graced Leia’s features as she turned around and gestured for Rey to join her by the window. The smile did not completely cut through the grief permanently etched into the lines of her face, but Rey knew it was genuine. Leia’s arms enfolded her gently and Rey turned into her scent, sweet like flowers, but with a spiciness underneath that spoke to the woman’s fierceness. Rey couldn’t remember her own mother’s embrace, but this was exactly as she had imagined it would have been like as she was growing up, alone and craving attachment. She couldn’t help but wonder how Ben had ever been able to give this up, the affection that radiated from this woman’s arms.

Her withered but strong hand brushed Rey’s cheek, “You are never a bother, Rey,” she looked down at the book that had been pressed between them, “Is that one of the Jedi texts from Ahch-To?”

Rey nodded, “There’s something I want to show you.” 

“Please do,” Leia acquiesced.

“I was trying to repair my...Luke’s...lightsaber when I ran into a bit of a problem,” she explained, “The energy in the kyber crystal is completely depleted. As you probably know, Jedha’s source has been destroyed. I thought it was hopeless, but then Rose and I found this.” She flipped to the drawing and showed it to Leia, “The Force is telling me something is here, but I don’t know where here is. I know it’s a long shot, but I thought maybe you might know something?”

Leia took the book from Rey’s hands and gently covered the picture, running her hand along the faded illuminated manuscript before gently sitting into an armchair, “Luke ran into a similar problem, back when we were fighting the Empire. When Vader cut off Luke’s hand in Bespin, he had to create his own, just like you’re trying to do. He told me of a planet called Ilum, in the Unknown Regions, but when he got there, he saw that the Empire had already stripped it bare, so he snuck past the Imperial troops onto Christophsis. I believe that this is a picture of the temple on Ilum that the jedi padawans used to harvest their own kyber. But I’m afraid you won’t find what you’re looking for there.”

With a defeated exhale, Rey sat down in the chair opposite Leia. “I was so sure…” she whispered. What was she supposed to do now? Everyone was looking to her to take up the mantle of Luke’s legend. How was she supposed to do that without the most iconic symbol of being a jedi?

Ochre eyes that were so familiar to Rey because they were the same as her son’s bored into hers. “Did you really feel something through the Force when you looked at this picture?”

Rey nodded tentatively.

“Well then,” Leia held the book out to Rey, “I think you need to go to Ilum.”

“But you just said there’s nothing left,” Rey said quizzically.

Leia leaned towards her, and those well-known eyes shown with light as she said, “I know what Luke told me. But you know what I also know?” Rey shook her head, “When the Force tells you that you’re on the right track, you should listen to it. If you feel like Ilum is where you need to go, then that’s where you go. Although…” she trailed off, looking back out the window, her eyes suddenly shining with tears.

Rey reached out after a moment and placed her hand on top of Leia’s, “What is it?”

Shaking her head, Leia tried to will the tears away, “Oh, just a mother’s lost hopes, is all,” she grabbed Rey’s hand between hers and gave it a gentle pat, “This is something you have to do. I understand. I do. But there’s still a part of me that wishes you didn’t because I know that one day, you’ll have to use that lightsaber against my child. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready for that.”

Not able to bear her turmoil, Rey couldn’t help but offer her what comfort she may. She couldn’t tell her _everything_ she knew about Ben. There were still some things she wasn’t so sure of herself, so she told her what she could, “I promise you that I will not kill Ben.”

The demoralized look on Leia’s face betrayed her thoughts before she voiced them, “He may not give you much choice.”

Emphatically, Rey shook her head and met the woman’s gaze with one of her own, “Don’t lose hope. I can’t tell you exactly how,” Rey placed a hand over her heart, “but I know that Ben is not lost. I feel it in the Force as strongly as I’ve ever felt anything. Ben Solo _will_ defeat Kylo Ren. Our job is to be here when he does.”

Her cinnamon eyes swam with tears again, but for the first time since Rey had stepped into the room, she saw hope in their depths. “Do you really feel that?”

Rey had to swallow everything she wanted to tell Leia. She wanted to tell her about her bond with Ben. How completely it had changed her view of him, turning him from a monster into a man she...cared for. If Leia knew the full truth of what had caused Rey to go to the _Supremacy_ , or what had happened last night, she knew that she would be considered a security risk for the Resistance. So as much as she wanted to confide in the woman who had become her surrogate mother, she knew she couldn’t. Instead, she just nodded.

“I do.”

***

“Why are we always saying goodbye?” Finn said forlornly as they embraced. They stood in the hangar, the sounds of fighters and machinery so loud that they had to remain close to hear each other. Not that Rey minded. Hugging Finn was one of her favorite things. He had no restraint with his hugs. They were pure and warm and after being affection starved for so long, she couldn’t get enough of them. She was pretty sure that after his life as a Stormtrooper, he felt the same way.

Loath to pull away, but knowing that she must, she separated herself just enough to be able to look into his face. She didn’t answer his question, because the truth was she didn’t have an answer. Part of her wanted to ask him to come with her, but it was only going to be a short trip to Ilum and back. He was of far more use to the Resistance than to her at the moment. They both knew it, but it didn’t make the separation any less painful.

“Don’t get into any trouble while I’m gone,” Rey said, mock seriously.

Finn grinned, “No promises.”

They finally broke apart and Rey had to say goodbye to the rest of her friends. She gave Rose a friendly hug and laughed when Rose said, “See? This is me not being jealous.”

Poe gave her a hug so strong that it lifted her off her feet, and BB-8 intoned so despondently, apologizing that he couldn’t go with her because Poe needed him, that she had to kneel down to rub his sphere. She couldn’t help the impulse to run her fingers along his antennae to straighten them. It had become something of a ritual between them. It managed to perk him up a little.

When she finally got to the General, Leia greeted her with that smile that seemed to be just for her. They didn’t hug this time, just clasped shoulders, but Rey still soaked in her essence. “Come home soon,” Leia said simply.

_Home._ The word overwhelmed her to the point of tears because this _was_ home. These people were her home. She had never had that before. The AT-AT on Jakku was just a place where she waited for the people who were supposed to take her where she belonged. Rey just never thought it would be the beeps of a small droid that would be her deliverance. The only thing that could make this moment more perfect would be if Ben were here, too. Then she would have everything she ever wanted. Wiping the tears from her eyes, Rey nodded, “I will. I promise.”

Chewie beckoned impatiently from inside the _Falcon_ , and R2-D2 echoed his sentiments. They had already said their goodbyes and were ready to get on the way. Rey turned and walked up the entrance ramp. As she reached out to close the _Falcon_ , she took in the sight of her friends one more time. Finn and Poe had their arms around Rose’s shoulders and she had hers around their waists. She gave them one last wave, which the trio returned. Leia was already being pulled away on some urgent business. With a deep breath, she pressed the button, the ramp quickly blocking the sight of them, a variation of her last words to Leia echoing in her head.

_I’ll be home soon. I promise._


	4. A Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo has to figure out a way to leave the First Order. But how can he when he's their _Supreme Leader_?
> 
>  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay on this chapter everyone. My beta has been super swamped with real life stuff. On that note, I definitely want to thank my beta, and best friend, Kiley, for being so amazing. You juggle a lot, girl, and you always make it look easy! Thanks for pushing me to be the best writer I can be. Love you!
> 
> And I also thank all of you, dear readers. Writing this has been seeing me through some pretty tough times. All of your encouragement and thoughtful reviews are food for my soul.

_Please, give me guidance._

It had been a long time since Kylo had spoken to the burnt mask of Darth Vader. He wasn’t a fool. Kylo knew that the visor wouldn’t answer back. Something about just focusing his thoughts and feelings to some outside symbol had always given him comfort. It was as if he was able to commune with the Dark Side by using the helm as some sort of totem. He always felt stronger after he spent time in this shrine conferring with his ancestor.

This time was different. There was no comfort here. Kylo was no longer trying to copy a man who had terrorized the galaxy for two decades. Already, he had surpassed everything Vader had done. He was the _Supreme Leader_ after all. Also, after being freed from Snoke’s ever present influence, he no longer needed to try to conjure up the darkness. The Force seemed to flow through him with ever increasing strength. Power that could only be matched by one person…

_Rey._

Just the thought of her caused his mouth to go dry and his heart to race. He had imagined what having her beneath him would be like for so long that he still couldn’t fully believe it had actually happened. If he closed his eyes he could still taste her, though it had been days since his tongue had lapped between her folds. 

He had hoped but never really _thought_ that she would give herself to him so completely. The feeling of relief he had experienced when she told him that she hadn’t rejected _him_ had washed away his residual anger and betrayal. She hadn’t turned away from him. She’d turned away from the Supreme Leader of the First Order.

Which brought him back to his current predicament. Kylo _was_ the Supreme Leader. In order to be with Rey, he had to abandon the First Order. However, the Supreme Leader couldn’t just _leave_ , as much as he might want to. There was also that part of him that didn’t want to give up the power he had worked so hard to obtain. Maybe, just maybe, if he could realize his vision for what the First Order _could_ be: a unifying force that didn’t suppress the people but protected them, Rey might change her mind. Then he could rule with her by his side.

_But how?_

The question had been taunting him for three days. It was this question that had brought him back to this room that he hadn’t stepped in since he had departed for the _Supremacy_ under Snoke’s orders. Kylo had thought he would find the answers here. He’d been wrong.

Anger surged up inside him. Out of reverence, Kylo had never dared touch the charred visage of Vader. As he thought about this prison of his own making he was trapped in, the fury was overwhelming. He needed to lash out, and the symbol of his childish idolatry seemed to be the perfect target. 

His fist clenched, the rage rose up freely, and the darkness came with it. When his fisted hand came in contact with the relic, the dark torrent also collided with it. The violence of the impact caused something to happen that he hadn’t experienced since that night with Rey. The night when he had relived her past as if it were his own.

Kylo had a vision.

_A battle raged around him. It was a chaos of bodies and blaster bolts. He couldn’t tell who was fighting whom. The unstable rumble of his lightsaber drew his eyes down. It’s red glow lit up the darkness. He heard a malicious roar and swung his lightsaber in that direction, cleaving the Stormtrooper’s head from his shoulders._

_The flash and familiar whir of a lightsaber being swung off to his right started to draw his attention, but then a warning shout filled his ears and he turned forward just in time to see another Stormtrooper swinging his weapon at him. It was too late to stop him. Kylo was surprisingly ready to meet his fate._

_Suddenly, a figure flashed in front of him. He moved swiftly, clad in black armor with studs on his shoulders. His twin electro-blades sliced through the Stormtrooper that had been about to kill Kylo. The man turned to him, and the helm that covered his face was familiar. Kylo turned around and the other five figures that protected his flank were also recognizable._

_They were the Knights of Ren._

_Images came bursting into his mind, replacing the skirmish with a new kind of barrage. Planets, temples, and caves manifested in his mind but were gone too fast for him to process where or what they were. Over it all was a cacophony of malevolent voices that raged inside his mind. The discord caused unendurable agony. Kylo clutched his head and soon his screams were added to the unending pandemonium._

The torment ceased as suddenly as it began. The sudden relief caused Kylo to vomit. Scrambling back until he was against the wall of the room, he panted heavily trying to stamp down the panic that had risen in him. A small compartment opened in the wall of the chamber and a cleaning droid beeped as it mopped up his mess. The mundanity of its actions oddly brought him back to reality. 

Vader’s visor was completely destroyed, having imploded from the force of Kylo’s fist and the dark torrent he released against it. Expecting to feel a twinge of regret, Kylo surprised himself when he processed that what he actually felt was relief. 

Finally, he had let the past die.

Taking a shaky breath, he tried to process the images that he saw in his divination. Kylo had no doubt that the vision was a response to his plea for direction. After he combed through all he could remember in his mind, Kylo was certain of two things. 

The first was that however Kylo decided to free himself from the First Order, he would need the Knights of Ren. It had been months since he had seen any of them. In fact, he hadn’t even heard from any of them since well before his journey to Takodana and his fateful first meeting with Rey. 

The second thing he was certain of was that wherever Snoke had sent the Knights, they were in trouble.

***

_Admiral Taza Keel is an imposing woman_ , Kylo thought as she entered the room. He knew she was about ten years his senior, but her dark skin was timeless and her posture was impeccable. She kept her tight curls cropped close to her head, just a shadow of them showed against her scalp. Not a stitch of her uniform was out of place.

Kylo hadn’t bothered to have a throne room installed aboard the _Finalizer_. He had always thought that the overlarge throne seemed to say that Snoke needed to overcompensate for something. Instead, Kylo had taken over the largest conference room. It served him well enough. The rectangular table took most of the space in the room, and Supreme Leader Ren stood at its far end.

“Please sit down, Admiral,” Kylo gestured to the chair to the right of where he was standing.

“Yes, Your Excellency,” her response was immediate, but he didn’t miss the flash of surprise that briefly passed through her eyes. She hadn’t expected the meeting to be so informal, and Kylo could feel the unease she so expertly disguised as she took her seat.

“I’ve heard a lot about you and the _Reaver_ ,” he said, folding his hands behind him. Admiral Keel was well spoken of by the other high ranking members of the Order. She ran a tight ship, but a fair one, and her exploits in the recent conquests of the Outer Rim were quickly becoming a thing of legend.

“And I you, Your Excellency,” she responded. The tentative side-eye she gave him told him that most of what she had gleaned about the Supreme Leader was not to his benefit. Her critical yet reserved attitude showed her to be a woman who thought before she acted. The Admiral also seemed like the type to withhold full judgment until she was able to form her own opinions. Kylo found himself surprised that he wanted to win this woman’s respect. Her reputation as an excellent leader made him want to show her that he could be the same. 

“Tell me, Admiral,” Kylo inquired, “Why did you join the First Order?”

Visibly taken aback and on guard, she responded, “It should be in my file.”

Her answer bordered on insubordination. Kylo had to reign in his temper and the sudden tightening of his fists drew her eye. Keel gulped involuntarily. His recent demonstration with Hux and Kylo’s reputation as Snoke’s interrogator left no doubts about what his hands were capable of. Then, her head rose ever so slightly, not allowing herself to give in to her fear. If he didn’t admire her before, he did now, and it went a long way towards calming his temper.

“Your file tells me facts. When you joined. Where you enlisted. It doesn’t tell me _why_.” Still she resisted, so Kylo had to make things perfectly clear, “If you don’t tell me I’m just going to find out anyway, and it’ll be a lot less pleasant for you. I’d prefer to keep this meeting amicable.” 

The Admiral paused for a moment, deep in thought. This was obviously a painful history for her to revisit. Kylo felt a brief flash of guilt about threatening her, but he _needed_ to know. “I grew up on Ibaar, constantly hungry. The blockade of the Empire was at its height at that time, so everyone was starving. Then, after the Battle of Endor, I remember the people having hope. Things would get better. The New Republic would help us. They didn’t. Or maybe they did, but it wasn’t enough because my sisters and I were still famished. My parents were useless. My father was an abusive alcoholic and my mother was too beaten down by him to care,” she swallowed. 

Clearly uncomfortable sharing these memories, she continued anyway, “It started just like any other night. I was barely eighteen. Father came home drunk and beat my mother. Only this time it never stopped. I knew she was dead when he started to turn towards Tambra. She was only ten. I couldn’t let him kill her too, so I grabbed the first thing I could,” she scoffed a little, “It was a skillet. I can still remember how his blood splattered my face as I bashed his skull with every ounce of strength that I had,” her hand came up to her face as if the gore was still there. Her voice and gaze were far away. 

Kylo mused at the irony of the three highest ranking members of the First Order all having committed patricide. Hux thought Ren didn’t know, but he did. Taza shook herself out of her reverie and looked him straight in the eyes and there wasn’t even an inkling of regret in their black depths and a spark of envy shot through him. But the Admiral had killed her father in defence, unlike Kylo. He would never be allowed the respite of a justified kill.

Her story wasn’t finished, however, so she continued, “The next day, I was walking home after being released from confinement. I ran into a recruiter. They promised me that I would always have the resources to take care of my sisters if I joined. I did so without a second thought. No one in my family has gone hungry since,” she said this last bit with great pride.

“You rose up in the ranks incredibly fast for someone who was just looking for a meal ticket,” the comment was meant to bruise her ego a little. Kylo knew the majority of their soldiers enlisted for the resources the First Order provided. Few of them had the drive or desire to rise much above their enlistment rank. Hux’s Stormtroopers were another matter entirely. In order for Kylo’s plan to work, he needed to know that she hadn’t been taken in by the propaganda the First Order was constantly spouting. 

If it were possible for her back to get any straighter, it did. 

“I take pride in doing my job, whatever it may be, to the best of my ability,” she stated trying hard not to show that he had offended her. 

“And so you do,” he mollified, knowing how dangerous hurt pride could be, but ultimately satisfied with her answer. Kylo still had one more thing he needed to know, however, “I read that you filed an official statement against the construction of _Starkiller Base_. Is that true?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

The question threw her off guard and he saw her pause to consider which would be the better option: telling him what he wanted to hear or telling him the truth. It was a common pause anyone who had dealings with Snoke was used to taking. It always ended in the truth, regardless of consequences because they knew Snoke would sense a lie. She was debating whether Kylo could do the same. When she met his penetrating gaze, he knew Taza had her answer. She told the truth.

“Because genocide inspires hatred, not fear. Fear coupled with compassion are useful tools to gain and maintain peace. Hatred, on the other hand, brings rebellion.”

How right she was.

The door to the conference room swooshed open and General Hux came stomping through the doorway. He paused when he saw the Admiral in Kylo’s right hand seat. The seat usually reserved for Hux. It was an intentional decision on Kylo’s part.

“Ah, General, there you are,” Kylo said, gesturing to the chair on his left, “You haven’t missed anything that you need to know.”

The slight was deliberate, and Kylo had to suppress his childish glee when he saw Hux’s pale complexion turn scarlet. 

“Y...yes, Supreme Leader,” Armitage’s flustered stutter was _almost_ unnoticeable. He stalked over and took his seat. 

“Now that I have you both here,” Kylo began, “I can tell you why I needed to speak to you.” He paused for dramatic effect, “I had a vision.”

Both Hux and Keel shifted in their seats uncomfortably, as Kylo knew they would. Battle tactics and troop movements they understood, but the mysticism of the Force was beyond them. This played wonderfully well into Kylo’s plan.

“I’m afraid that I have to leave the Order for awhile.”

“Leave?!” Hux scoffed, “You’re the Supreme Leader. You can’t just _leave_.” Taza did nothing, just watched and observed.

Kylo glared at Hux, livid at the interruption, “Do you presume to know better than the Force on where my energies are needed?”

Hux blanched and shut his mouth. Kylo continued, “I will not be gone long. A few weeks at most. You are to focus your efforts on stabilizing the Outer Rim while I’m gone.”

“Stabilize the...we were just about to start our offensive against the Mid Rim! You can’t just-”

Kylo’s fist slammed on the table thunderously in an effort to keep himself from activating his lightsaber. Hux jumped about a mile high, but the Admiral’s blink was the only sign of her trepidation. Letting the rage subside, although it was difficult not to crush the man’s windpipe then and there, Kylo regarded Hux with cool contempt.

“As you said, I am the Supreme Leader. I can do as I will. Isn’t that right, _Grand_ Admiral?” he turned his gaze to Keel. The upwards flash of her eyebrows told him that she hadn’t missed the emphasis on her new rank. The one that was just a step above General. Hux was so livid his face was nearly purple, but he seemed to have wizened up enough not to say anything.

“Yes, Your Excellency,” she responded.

“Grand Admiral, you will act as leader in my stead. Please have my command shuttle ready for my departure in one hour. General,” he finally deigned to give Hux a small nod of acknowledgement, “you will still have primary control of our ground forces but will answer to the Grand Admiral and follow her orders as if they are my own. You are both dismissed.”

They both stood and snapped a solute, Taza’s being infinitely more polished than Hux’s reticent one.

***

Later, when Kylo was piloting his command shuttle away from the fleet, he took a deep breath. It felt like the first time he had really breathed in...years. He was relatively sure that the Supreme Leader probably shouldn’t feel that way, but he didn’t care. 

After a moment of relief, he was brought back to reality as he tried to think of what coordinates he should put into the nav computer. A part of him was tempted to head straight for Rey, wherever she was, so he could make love to her in person and forget everything that he had left behind. The problem was that he hadn’t actually left _anything_ behind. His vision still taunted him, telling him that his knights were in dire peril. As much as he might want to be with Rey, the memory of the trainees that had followed him wherever he went, even to the Dark Side, gave him pause. His honor wouldn’t allow him to just abandon them.

Yet he had no idea where they were. He paged through the images he had filed away in his mind until one looked familiar. It was a forest planet, and rising out of the treetops was a grouping of ziggurats. Kylo would know those temples anywhere. It was Yavin 4. He felt a tug from the force, beckoning him.

Plugging in the coordinates, he punched into hyperdrive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So hopefully my first OC is not awful. I kept picturing Danai Gurira as Admiral Taza Keel. She is an amazing, fierce, talented woman. All the things I wanted the Admiral to be.
> 
> There will be more Reylo goodness soon, I promise! But first...Rey gets a lightsaber! What are your theories? I'm curious to see if anyone figures it out.
> 
> Also, what do you think Kylo will find on Yavin 4?


	5. The Caves of Ilum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey gets a new lightsaber.
> 
>  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this update came really quick, no? I had been writing this chapter while waiting for my beta to read the last chapter, so I was almost finished with it by the time the last chapter updated. Then my beta surprised me by editing the chapter the same day I sent it to her! This means you get a close update! Bad news? It's probably going to be a little while until the next chapter. Anyways, enjoy!

_It’s...really...cold…_

When they had exited hyperspace, Rey had been shocked by what she saw. Ilum hardly looked like a planet anymore. Parts of the planet’s surface had been completely carved away, and you could see the boiling magma rising up from its core. It wasn’t these parts that called to her, however. On the far side of the planet, which was still covered in ice because of its distance from the blue dwarf Asar, she had felt that all too familiar pull and instructed Chewie to land not far from what looked like a massive glacier.

The cold didn’t come as a great surprise to Rey, but she might have underestimated just how _cold_ cold could be. It was something she’d had very little experience with in her lifetime. Rey had never missed that infernal Jakku heat before now. Her only experience with snow or ice had been on _Starkiller Base_ , and then her exertion had balanced the chill. There was no activity that could keep the frigid winds of Ilum at bay. 

Not for the first time since she had stepped out of the _Millenium Falcon_ , Rey felt a wave of gratitude towards Chewbacca. Rey had been about to venture onto the planet with nothing but the clothes on her back, as she remembered that she hadn’t been _that_ cold on _Starkiller_ once she’d gotten moving. A frantic shout from Chewbacca, asking her what she was doing, had stopped her just as she was reaching to open the ramp door. 

He came lumbering up to her and wrapped her in an old fur-lined coat. It smelled faintly like Han, woodsy and spicy, which was both comforting and painful. Lastly, Chewie put a pair of protective goggles over her eyes, and too-large insulated gloves on her hands. The wookie stepped back and examined his handy work, determining that _now_ she was ready.

Using her staff to help keep her footing in the slick ice and howling wind, Rey followed the tug she felt through the Force. She tried desperately to ignore the thunderous cracks she heard of the glacier breaking far off in the distance. They made the planet seem all too unstable for Rey’s liking.

After what seemed like an excruciatingly long half an hour, Rey came to a dead end. She was standing facing the glacier, but this part looked like it had been completely decimated. Rey knew there was something behind the mountain of rubble. The Force was telling her that was the direction she needed to go, so she swung her staff under her arm onto her back and carefully scaled the collapsed area looking for a possible opening into the passage beyond.

The oversized gloves Chewie had given her made it a little difficult for her to get a proper finger hold on the slippery surface. Her climbing was much slower than it would have been if she were to shinny up the guts of an old star destroyer. She was about midway up the cliff face when she saw a crevice she could squeeze herself through. 

When she reached the other side of the rubble wall, the chamber was pitch black. Rey knew she’d have to make her way down somehow, but she could already tell how precarious her situation was as she must have climbed about a hundred meters up before finding the fissure. It would be downright suicidal to make the journey down in the dark. Carefully, she pulled off one glove with her teeth. She used her bare hand to get a better grip on the wall. Stuffing the glove into her coat pocket and pulling out the torch that she’d had the mind to grab on her way out of the ship, she flicked it on.

Carefully, using her mouth to hold the light, Rey climbed her way to the ground of the chamber. When her feet made contact with the floor, she turned and flashed the torch around the cavern while she put her glove back on. It was largely destroyed, looking as if some blast had torn it apart. She could see the remains of the two great statues that had been in the image of the book. The large crystalline light fixture was smashed to pieces on the floor. Rey bent down to examine them but she knew on instinct that they weren’t what she was looking for.

Not sure what to do next, she closed her eyes to focus on the tug that had led her here. Only...it was gone. The Force had guided her to the ancient temple but she was now on her own. Momentarily at a loss, she took a second to collect herself. Rey was a scavenger, exploring for unknown treasures had been her lifeblood for years. This was no different. 

Rey was looking for a way out of the chamber in an effort to make it into the cave system that the temple must sit above when she heard something completely disconcerting. It was a laugh. More like a chuckle really, raspy and high pitched, almost impish. She spun towards the noise, but she could see nothing.

“Hello?” she called into the darkness with a gulp, swinging her torch around to look for the source of the cackle. There was no one there. However, there was _something_. Right where she thought the noise had come from, across on the far side of the chamber, was the opening she had been searching for.

Making her way hesitantly across the rubble, she reached the entrance. It wasn’t to scale with the massive chamber at just two meters across and three high. She shone her light down the tunnel and saw many doorways lining the hall. Rey took a deep breath and stepped through the portal. 

The first door on her left turned out to be a sparse living chamber, the bedclothes long rotted away. When the door on her right showed the same thing, she moved on without looking in each doorway. After awhile, Rey looked back and noticed that the entrance she had come through was considerably higher up. It seemed like the floor of the hall was sloped, leading further into the glacier. Or rather... _underneath_ the glacier.

Ice walls soon turned to crystalline rock as Rey was lead deeper under the surface. She reached out towards a clear vein she saw running through the darker stone, but felt no essence of life similar to what she had felt from Luke’s kyber. It was just quartz. 

Mentally cataloging all of her turns so she wouldn’t get lost, Rey let her instincts guide her further into the cave system. Occasionally, she would reach out through the Force, looking for any kind of kyber signature. She was met with utter silence every time. 

The channel she had been traversing suddenly opened into a wide cavern. It was quite the sight to see with its rock formations glittering in the light of her torch. Rey could spend hours here just looking at the stalactites. There was no kyber here though, so she knew she had to move on. The problem was that the chamber had several exits, almost as if this grotto was a central hub for the cave system. Rey had no idea which one she should take, and exploring every single path would take days or even an eternity if she wasn’t careful. She was about to head down the first tunnel on her left when she heard it again. That laugh.

“ _Mmmhmhmhmhm_.”

Rey spun around and saw a faint blue light moving down the passage straight across from her. She ran around the stalagmites, trying to catch whoever was down here. She entered the tunnel the light had come from, but the glow was already fading around a corner to her right. 

“Wait!” she called after it. 

The tunnel twisted and turned a few times, that blue light always just ahead of her. There was a sharp turn. When she made it she slammed straight into a wall. The sudden impact caused her to fall flat on her backside and knocked the wind from her lungs. She laid there for a moment just trying to draw in oxygen. 

Once she was able to breathe again, she sat up and looked at the offending wall. It seemed to be made entirely out of ice. Its cracks and fractals glinted in the light she provided. Rey felt oddly drawn to it as it eerily recalled memories of her experience in the cave of Ahch-To. Rising to her feet, she reached out to the wall. It showed her no visions, but there was something there, just on the other side. She could _feel_ it. The Force was whispering to her just like it had when she found Luke’s saber on Takodana and the Jedi Texts on Ahch-To.

Trying to use her telekinetic abilities against the wall could cause a cave in. She’d have to find another way to get to the other side. Rey turned back towards where she’s come from and found her way blocked. She’d never seen the like of the creature that was standing before her. It...he?...didn’t quite reach her waist in height. His skin was green. His eyes were the same but with a golden hue to them. The robes he wore were very reminiscent of the ones she had seen Luke wear the day she arrived on the island. Instinctively, she knew they were jedi robes. There was a curved cane, more of a stick really, clasped in his three-fingered grasp. He also looked positively ancient. And he _glowed_. His aura was the same shade of blue she had been chasing.

“What are you?” She couldn’t stop the question from slipping past her lips. She flushed in embarrassment.

His long pointed ears twitched in amusement with his mouth, “A jedi master Yoda is.”

“Jedi master?! I’m sorry! I didn’t realize-” 

He held up one of his hands to stop her fumbling, “Important it is not. To Ilum what brings you, young Rey?” his eyes glinted with a fierceness so different from his earlier amusement. Surprisingly, she didn’t question how this Yoda knew her name. There was something about him that was both distinctly _here_ and _not here_. She could feel the Force singing through him and surrounding him. 

Rey saw no use in hiding her motives from this jedi. Maybe he could even help her. “I came to look for a kyber crystal. For my lightsaber,” she said.

“An important step in your training finding your lightsaber is,” Yoda nodded accommodatingly.

Confused, Rey asked, “Finding? I thought jedi made their lightsabers?”

“Finding...making...all the same it is, _mmhmmhmmhmm_ ,” the jedi said cryptically. It was definitely his laugh she had heard earlier. “Chooses its own master kyber does.” Yoda walked forward and reached out with the end of his cane. It made a distinct _chink chink_ sound against the ice for something that looked fairly incorporeal. “Through here your crystal is, is it not?”

She followed his gaze through the ice blockade. The Force was still a constant hum when she focused there. “Yes,” she said with certainty.

“If so sure you are then take it you must,” Yoda said.

“There’s a wall,” she tried unsuccessfully to not appear as if she thought he was crazy.

“Hm,” he grunted, placing his cane back on the floor and folding both hands on top of it, “If unable to get it you are, then yours it must not be.” His demeanor turned dark. His ears turned down as his gaze pierced up at her. It was as if he was seeing everything that she was, is, and will be all at the same time. “Seduced by the Dark Side you have been.”

The very thought of turning to the Dark gave her goosebumps. She shook her head emphatically, “No! Never!”

“To the dark nexus on Ahch-To seeking answers you went.”

“Yes, I did,” she replied, chagrined, “It didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know. It offered me nothing I wanted.” She remembered how empty she had felt after the answers it had provided. Rey had always called herself a Nobody. When the cave forced her to remember just how true that was, she had never felt more...alone. Turning to the Dark Side had only left her cold and brought up every negative emotion she felt. If that was what the Dark Side offered her in return for power, she didn’t want it. Yoda nodded knowingly.

“A Dark Side user Kylo Ren is, is he not?”

Rey struggled to find the words to explain. At first, back when he was nothing more than a monster to her, Kylo had wanted to train her. The idea couldn’t have been more repugnant to her. Then, that connection had flared to life, forcing her to communicate with him. He went from a monster to a man whose loneliness so deeply reflected her own. She quickly found herself identifying with him. _Understanding_ him. That didn’t erase all the terrible things he had done in the name of Snoke, the First Order, and the Dark Side, but he wasn’t a masked creature anymore, either. It had been easy for her to reject his offer to rule the galaxy. Resisting the Dark Side was easy. When he pleaded for her to stay with him, with that one simple word, she nearly folded. Resisting the man was nearly impossible. However, she couldn’t deny the truth of Yoda’s words, “Yes, he is.”

“For the Force to be balanced defeated Kylo Ren must be,” Yoda foretold.

She thought about the idea of killing Ben. Not too long ago, she would have done so without much thought. Kylo Ren was evil, a mad dog Snoke unleashed against the galaxy that needed to be put down. The problem was, he wasn’t really those things. Ben might not see it that way, but Rey could feel a change in him. His conflict between Kylo and Ben was coming to a head, and only one could win. She trusted Ben to make the right choice.

This thought filled her with strength and certainty as she responded to Yoda’s proclamation, “Maybe...but not by me.”

No sooner had she said the words than the ice wall cracked and shattered into a thousand crystals. She looked into a small chamber just large enough for one rock formation. Nestled between the points of the stalactite and stalagmite was a lightsaber. What’s more is that she _recognized_ it. 

Reaching out, she called to the weapon and it came flying into her grasp. As soon as her hand touched the hilt, what she had heard as a hum beyond the ice became a symphony. She examined the lightsaber closer. The power cell and lower grip were bright silver. The activation switch was the perfect size for her thumb tip and golden. The upper grip was a mass of silver and black grooves that led to a narrow bronze focusing chamber. It was capped with a silver, almost cup-shaped emitter matrix. She removed her gloves and stuffed them in her pocket so she could better examine the lightsaber. When she flicked the switch, its blade shone with a bright green light. This was definitely the same saber she had seen in Ben’s memories. The one Luke wielded against Ben the night he became Kylo Ren.

“...How…?” Rey didn’t understand how Luke’s saber had come to choose her.

“Always confidence and courage you have had,” Yoda said as he walked a slow path around her, “When refuse to kill Kylo Ren you did, compassion and trust you showed. Passed the Gathering you did.” With that he came full circle and gave her leg a gentle tap with his cane. His head and ears lifted high, and the look in his gold-green eyes was almost...proud. Rey didn’t know what The Gathering was, but it was obviously some sort of test. One, guessing by the look on Yoda’s face, that she had passed with flying colors. 

Giving the blade a few test swings, Rey marveled at how the kyber sang in her hands. She did feel a minor blip of disappointment when she thought of the design she had created from the Jedi Texts. That beautiful double-edged saber would never be realized. Not by her, at least. However, the feeling quickly disappeared with just how _right_ this lightsaber felt in her grasp.

Something was nagging at her. She had seen the map to Luke’s location, and aside from Ahch-To and Ilum both being in the Unknown Regions, Ilum wasn’t anywhere close to the path Luke had taken through the cosmos. “How did it _get_ here?” Rey marveled.

“Brought it here Lor San Tekka did.”

Lor San Tekka...where had she heard that name before? Wait...the old man from Tuanul? She had met him once or twice at Nima Outpost. Rey tried to remember what she could about the man. To her, he was just a member of the Church of the Force. A kind old man who would give the hungriest scavengers extra rations. When he would come into the outpost, many of the more well-traveled visitors would whisper about the exploits of “the Explorer” and how he had traversed the galaxy looking for objects powerful with the Force for the great Luke Skywalker. At the time, she dismissed the rumors as myth and legend. They were a way to explain the enigma of the mischievous glint in his kind eyes. Rey knew better now. Those myths and legends were true. She was living proof of that.

“After almost killing Ben Solo Luke did, bloodied the crystal nearly became. In his distressed state, use his saber again Skywalker could not. His lightsaber to San Tekka he gave. Since a great finder San Tekka was, a great hider was he also. To Ilum no one goes since kyber it no longer has,” Yoda narrated as he gestured for Rey to begin walking back to the entrance of the temple, “Only by the rightful owner, one who the crystal’s Light essence keep could, the kyber’s call be heard would.”

“Bloodied?” Rey queried, “I don’t understand.”

“Attuned to the Light Side, kyber is. But so strong the bond to its master is. If flooded with Dark Side energy bleed it does. Red the water of the kyber becomes.” Yoda spoke as if the kyber was sentient. As she felt it sing in her consciousness, she believed it. This kyber’s requiem was beautiful and sad but also had a harmony of hope threading through it. She felt her being resonate with the tune.

They walked in silence the rest of the way to the entrance of the temple. It wasn’t an uncomfortable quiet, though. She could feel that Yoda was letting her take in everything she had just learned. When they reached the large chamber, Yoda stopped.

“Go with you further, I cannot,” he actually seemed a little sad. 

Rey had the sudden feeling that she would never see this strange jedi master again. She felt an affinity for the creature who had taught her so much in so little time. “Thank you, Master Yoda,” the words spilled out of her mouth.

His wrinkled lips curled up and his eyes crinkled with his smile, “A pleasure it was, young Rey.”

With that, she turned to make her climb, but Yoda called out to her.

“Rey,” she turned back. Yoda looked as if he was focusing very hard on what he was about to say. 

“You must balance the Force.”

The intensity of his gaze mixed with the precision he used when saying the words left Rey with no doubt as to their importance. There was an air of prophecy about them that she couldn’t ignore. Goosebumps formed on her arms and the small hairs on the back of her neck felt like they were standing on end. Rey didn’t fully understand his words yet, but she had no doubt that one day she would. 

Unable to speak around the lump in her throat, she simply nodded. Yoda inclined his head in acknowledgement and then just...faded away. Her mind couldn’t fully process all that had happened to her in this ruined jedi temple, so she filed it away to deal with later and focused on the job at hand. 

Turning back to the wall of rubble, she made the climb.

***

By the time Rey returned to the _Falcon_ , she was both mentally and physically exhausted. She barely even registered the concerned howl of Chewie or the curious beeps of R2-D2 as she made her way to the crew’s quarters. The only thing she wanted more than sleep was use of the refresher. She gently removed her lightsaber from her belt and placed it near her bed. Stripping out of her winter garb and lighter clothes, she stumbled into the very small refresher and turned it on. 

Being an older model ship, the shower still used recycled water over sonics. She turned the water as hot as it would go. Her skin was so cold that it scalded, but she let it. Turning her face into the stream, she let the water wash away the exertions and aches of her journey. 

She could barely stand by the time she finished her shower, but she still managed to open the compartment and pull out a clean undershirt and pants and pull them on. Collapsing onto her bunk, she pulled up the blanket she had left there that morning. Rey felt her head make contact with her bunk. Then she was pulled into slumber.

_Sunlight filled the room. It’s golden warmth rested on Rey’s eyelids and slowly brought her to awareness. The second she opened her eyes, she knew it was a dream. This room certainly wasn’t the cramped, three-bunk chamber on the_ Falcon. _It was homey, with pale walls and billowing curtains that revealed an open balcony beyond. She could hear the ocean. The biggest giveaway was the bed she was laying on. It was large and cloud-soft. Her head rested on an actual pillow rather than the sloped portion of her bunk. There was something else that made the bed stand out, and that was the rather large man next to her._

_Ben was turned towards her in the bed, his bare, freckled arm clutched his blankets in place. His hair was splayed in disarray all around his pillow and face, like a child. Rey marveled at how even in a dream, he seemed so real to her. Yet he also seemed so different._

_He looked so...peaceful. In sleep his face was completely relaxed, his full lips slightly parted. Rey wanted to kiss those lips, but the desire to continue to watch that serene face kept her craving at bay. Somehow, she knew that the Ben she was sharing a bed with wasn’t the man she currently knew. In his present state, she doubted his sleep was anything but tumultuous. This man was what Ben would be like when he finally stopped torturing himself. Oh, how she wanted to see this man…_

_The temptation to touch him became unbearable. Ever so gently, she reached out to brush the hair off his face. That was when everything went wrong. The sunlight darkened and became night. What Rey had once perceived as peaceful now looked distorted...lifeless. Immediately, she snatched her hand back but it was dark and sticky. When she looked back at Ben, blood streamed down his face._

_As she tumbled out of the bed in horror, her entire environment zoomed away in a streak of greys and blues, leaving her dizzy. She was suspended in darkness and terror for a moment before the inky blackness was whisked away, replaced in a blurr with an ancient forest. Rey was floating above the trees, unable to control where she was headed._

_Three large pyramid structures rose high above the trees, with two smaller ones just barely poking through the treetops. Her trajectory veered towards the smallest of the temples and suddenly she was dropping down, down, down. When she should have hit the side of the ancient stone, she passed through instead. Still deeper her vision took her, until she was in the very bowels of the temple. Again, darkness clouded her sight._

_With her eyes deprived of any sensory input, Rey turned to her hearing. Piercing through the darkness were the unmistakable sounds of a fight. Turning desperately towards the cacophony, she spotted a beam of pale light splitting the darkness. She tried to will herself to the spot in an effort to join the fray, but it was too late._

_Ben fell into that ray of light and as he did, she heard the distinct_ crack _of his head hitting the ground. Screaming in rage at the force that kept her immobilized, she fought tooth and nail to try to free herself. After a moment, she felt something like an intangible_ snap _and was propelled forward. The sudden force of her movement caused her knees to collapse._

_The fall had brought her kneeling by Ben’s side. He looked just as he had in her bed, with blood pouring down his face. His expression was lifeless and his skin had a distinct bluish tint. Unable to swallow the whimper that rose up from the pit of her stomach, she grasped his shoulders. It would be no use to shake them._

_Ben Solo was dead._

With a sob, Rey was brought back to awareness. Still so affected by her nightmare, she found herself unable to open her eyes. Her hands trembled as she raised them to cover her eyes. She dug the palms into them probably a little harder than necessary in an effort erase the images forced upon her. Used to a lifetime of self-soothing, she took several shaky breaths in an effort to calm herself. 

A warm hand tentatively touched her forearm and with the contact came a concerned, deep voice, “Hey...Rey...whatever it is...it’s okay.”

Recognition of the voice gave her the strength to finally open her eyes. When the watercolored blurriness of her vision cleared, she saw Ben, sitting on the edge of her bunk. He looked so concerned and unsure, but also so _alive_. The relief that flooded through her brought a tearless sob. Surging forward, she wrapped her arms around his broad back and clung on for dear life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I have a disclaimer. In no way do I think Rey is going to use Luke's green lightsaber in Episode IX. But after reading a lot of fics, I didn't want to do what everybody else was doing. (I'm selfish like that.) I find it highly likely that Rey will end up with a saberstaff in the next film. If fact, I fully intended on having it be a saberstaff...until I started writing. Then, you know, stuff happens. However, it always bothered me that we never found out what happened to Luke's green saber after Kylo destroyed the temple. 
> 
> Also, I have to say...if you've never written Yoda before, you should. He's a lot of fun.
> 
> As always, let me know what you think! Your thoughts really brighten my days. I perk up every time I see an update in my inbox.


	6. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo's quest for the Knights of Ren begins! Plus some Reylo goodness...
> 
>  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter marks the end of the first story arc and the beginning of the second! I have three story arcs planned for this fic. I hope you enjoy as plot will be more abundant...but also some smut. ~.^ On a side note, this is my longest chapter to date, so prepare yourselves!
> 
> I'd like to thank @boomdafunk on tumblr for the amazing artwork she created for me that I used in this mood board of Rey and Ben on the Falcon. I don't know who made the photo edit of them hugging as I just did a google search, but if you know, please tell me so I can give proper credit.

_I’m going to kill whoever made her cry._

Kylo had been pleasantly surprised when he had retired to the quarters on his command shuttle and saw Rey sleeping on one of the bunks. He immediately started thinking about all the things he wanted to do to her and it made his pulse sputter. The desire turned to concern when he saw that her slumber was not easy.

She wasn’t tossing or turning, but tears streamed down her cheeks. He always felt at a loss when she cried. Especially since she was usually crying because of him. Her tears always made him feel big and clumsy and _stupid_.

When she moved her hands to her eyes, he realized she was awake. His heart twinged with sympathy when she soothed herself. It was all too apparent that this was a ritual of sorts. This was what Rey did when she cried. Kylo didn’t know how to console anyone, not even himself. His explosions of uncontrollable rage were proof enough of that. That didn’t stop Kylo from wanting to make an attempt, regardless of his inexperience with such things. Doubt gnawed in his stomach. He was pretty sure he’d be bad at it, but he had to try.

Ever so gingerly, he lowered himself to sit on her bunk. He reached out to touch her arm, hesitating because he didn’t know what to say. _Just say something to let her know you’re here_ , he thought. His hand made contact with her forearm and he said the first thing that came to mind, “Hey...Rey...whatever it is...it’s okay.”

_Fucking_ brilliant.

He knew that some things were never okay. If empty platitudes had never been able to sooth him, they certainly weren’t going to do her any good. He should have _known_ that before opening his stupid mouth.

Rey’s breath hitched and her palms came away from her eyes at the sound of his voice. When she opened them, they were swimming and red. She gazed at him unfocused for a full heartbeat before her beautiful chestnut eyes cleared with recognition. Surging forward with a dry sob, she wrapped herself around him. For the second time in as many minutes, he was at a loss.

As she nuzzled against his chest, seeming like she wanted to melt _into_ him, he tentatively placed his arms around her. Kylo took her sigh as a sign of encouragement that he was doing what she needed, so he tightened his embrace and rested his cheek against the top of her head. Doing something so deceptively simple shouldn’t feel so _good_.

How long they stayed like that, he didn’t know. Rey was the one who started to pull away. As much as he loathed the idea, he let her. She didn’t go too far, though. Her face was flushed and she couldn’t meet his eyes. Rubbing her palms nervously on her thighs, she said, “Sorry...about that.”

“Don’t apologize.”

The words came out a bit harsher than he had intended. Rey simply nodded in acknowledgement. An awkward pause passed between them. This was the first time they had seen each other since they’d...What do you even call sex when the participants aren’t actually physically in the same solar system? 

Well, whatever it was called, they had done it. Now they had to figure out what came next. When their eyes finally met, he saw the same shyness that he inexplicably felt reflected in hers. Oddly enough, seeing her uncertainty erased his own. 

Slowly leaning forward, he moved to kiss her. Right before their lips touched, Kylo stopped, giving her the chance to withdraw if she wanted. She didn’t. Ever so gently he pressed his lips to hers. He didn’t try to deepen the kiss or make it last too long. It was just a simple kiss, barely longer than a peck. A greeting between lovers. 

When he broke the kiss he looked down at her. Rey’s face was tilted up towards his but she kept her eyes closed. Her long eyelashes were slightly clumped from the salt of her tears, but her expression looked much more relaxed, almost happy even. Lips slightly parted, Kylo swore he saw a faint upturn in their corners. _I did that_ , he thought tenderly.

He had been about to kiss her again, passionately this time, when her eyes opened. Something in them made him stop. She...wasn’t ready. So he reigned himself in.

“Hi,” Kylo said.

The quirk of her lips became a small smile as she looked up at him. 

“Hi,” Rey responded.

She pulled out of his arms and leaned back against the bunk, scooting against the wall to make room for him. He obliged, resting against the opposite side and bringing his feet up. The bed was narrow, so their legs were pressed together. Standard bunks were always too short for him to lay down comfortably. The awkward curve of the bed made him slouch and stretch to fit, so his feet ended up near her head. 

She turned her head to look at his boots and then raised an eyebrow at him, “Really? Shoes on my bed?”

“They’re not _actually_ on your bed,” he pointed out.

“You don’t know that,” she gave the hard leather a rap with her knuckle as if the distinct tapping sound it made proved her point.

“Trust me, you want me to keep them on,” Kylo replied offhandedly.

Rey froze, staring at him. She blinked a couple times. Then she did something that surprised them both. She laughed. It wasn’t a polite chuckle or a girlish giggle. Rey, Kylo was fairly certain, didn’t giggle. Clutching her sides, face red, it was a full on belly laugh. 

“What?” he asked incredulously.

With great effort, she managed to get her laughter under control. Wiping tears from her eyes, this time from glee, she said, “You’re funny. I don’t think I was expecting that.”

_“Have you_ met _my parents?”_ was what he wanted to say, but he didn’t. It was still too difficult for him to mention them casually like that. Not just casually but almost...fondly. If he stopped being angry at them then everything he had worked towards and done for the last half-decade would be pointless. No, he couldn’t think that. His family had failed him when he needed them most. Forgiveness was still out of his reach.

Sensing the darkness bubbling around him, she reached out her hand and placed it on his shin. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

That shook him out of his dark thoughts. “I’m not upset with you,” he reassured, “I like it when you laugh. I’ve never seen it before.”

She flushed a little, “No, I don’t suppose you have.” Her face brightened suddenly as she said, “I have a new lightsaber.”

Kylo’s eyebrows flashed in interest, “Oh?”

Reaching underneath his legs, her hand flicked out. Kylo heard the distinct _clink_ of a lightsaber hitting her palm. When she brought it into view his feet fell to the ground with a hard thud. He could still see that saber raised above him, ready to strike. If this was the kyber that had called to her, then it seemed they were destined to be enemies after all. The thought filled him with absolute, consuming dread.

The look on his face must have been quite something, because her brow furrowed and she said fiercely, “I know what you’re thinking. Stop it.”

_Easier said than done._

“Ben,” she said exasperatedly, “I’m not going to kill you.”

“That,” he said nonchalantly as he pointed at the saber and stood up, carefully hiding the fact that he was trying to put as much distance between him and the weapon as possible, “tells me something different.”

“You’re afraid,” Rey said with a bit of humored disbelief.

“No, I’m not,” he retorted stubbornly, grinding his teeth together.

“Oh really?”

There was something mischievous in her gaze as she climbed out of the bunk, lightsaber in hand. Kylo cursed himself as he took an involuntary step backwards at her approach, quite literally backing himself into a corner. She held up the weapon and he doggedly averted his gaze. 

“You can’t even look at it!” Rey exclaimed as she waved it tauntingly in front of his face. 

With a frustrated growl, Kylo reached out and captured her wrist. He yanked her off balance and she fell against his chest, their hands both still raised in the air holding the saber. Her other hand was trapped between their bodies as she had tried to brace herself from his pull.

“Stop,” he declared through clenched teeth.

Realizing that she had taken the joke too far, she sombered immediately and nodded slightly. The humor on her face was replaced with something else as her gaze roamed over his face. Her eyes trailed along his jaw and rested on his mouth and her breathing hitched. When she met his eyes again, they were clouded with desire. For him. That did wonders to sooth the fire of his uneven temper, but stoked a whole new heat within him.

Their breaths mingled synchronously in the space between them. Without conscious thought, Kylo’s free hand reached out for her waist and traced circles there with his thumb. He couldn’t seem to pull himself away from her eyes. Rey trailed her hand up his chest and neck before she tangled it into his hair, pulling his mouth to hers. 

The kiss was slow but deep. Her mouth soft and warm as it dragged sensuously over his. When her tongue delicately traced the seam of his lips, he gasped. With the access he had granted, their tongues tangled languorously until his mind became nothing but the white noise that was _Rey_. He dropped her wrist to wrap his arm around her, palm flat between her shoulder blades, and drew her even closer. A pleasant, simmering heat radiated through him, pooling in his groin.

With a moan, his passion started to take over, wanting to turn the kiss from a refreshing drink to a scalding flame. He licked into her mouth as he pulled her hips to his, letting her feel how much he wanted her. _Needed_ her. But Rey had other ideas. When she pulled away, Kylo couldn’t help the growl of protest and frustration that passed his lips. Then, she rested her forehead on his chest, the crown of her head right underneath his chin, breathing heavily. Her action so completely _trusting_ that his primal desire was quelled by simply wanting to hold her.

Her kiss had left him boneless. Without the aid of the wall behind him, Kylo was pretty sure that he would have slipped straight to the floor. Once Rey’s breathing had calmed somewhat, she raised her head again and gave him a very light peck, the thumb wrapped in his hair traced the shell of his ear. 

“Why,” she asked, her eyes gleaming with sincerity, “would I want to hurt you when I could do _that_ instead?”

_Fair point._

Rey disentangled herself from his arms, walking back to the bunk. “Besides, I only passed the Gathering _after_ I told Master Yoda I wouldn’t kill you.”

_Yoda?!_

He hadn’t realized he’d said it aloud, or maybe he hadn’t - their bond made that boundary unclear sometimes - until she responded, “Do you know him?”

Collapsing into the bunk across from her, he scoffed. “Only through stories. He was the last surviving jedi to sit on the Jedi Council in the days of the Old Republic.”

“Was?”

“He’s been dead for over thirty years.”

“Huh,” he could see the gears turning in her head as she processed that information, coming to acceptance of the situation surprisingly quickly, “Well...that makes sense.”

Kylo had heard Skywalker’s stories about the force ghosts, of course, but this was the first time he had heard of an encounter in...a long time. His final confrontation with his uncle seemed to carry much more weight to it now. He had felt Luke die. Except now he thought that maybe it wasn’t exactly death, but that Skywalker had managed to become one with the Force. Luke’s final words rang in his ears forebodingly.

_See you around, kid._

“I’m curious about something.”

“Hmm?” he responded distractedly.

“Yoda mentioned that the reason Luke had to stop using this saber is because the crystal was nearly...bloodied, I think is the term he used. Is...is that what happened to your kyber? I saw your old lightsaber when you showed me how Luke almost killed you. It was blue.”

He had to take a moment to process the information that the Great Luke Skywalker had nearly bloodied his kyber crystal in the process of simply _thinking_ about killing him. Kylo had always seen Luke as a paragon of light, the antithesis of Vader. How much darkness had flooded through the Jedi Master at that moment? Had Luke always felt that pull to the Dark? Was his conflict just hidden underneath the shiny veneer of what the galaxy needed him to be? Who Luke _himself_ needed to be? A bitter anger pooled in his gut with the questions because if Luke had felt any conflict, why hadn’t he _told_ him? If he had, then maybe…

Those were dangerous thoughts, and a path he didn’t want to go down. What had happened, happened. But with this knowledge, the fact that Luke’s signature had been quiet for years until recently suddenly made sense. The Hero of the Rebellion had nearly turned to the Dark Side. Instead, he ran away, cutting himself off from the incredible power he could have had...far greater than that of Snoke’s, he was sure...How very _Luke_ of him.

“Yes.”

Rey glanced at the saber hanging from his belt and he knew what she saw. Aside from the black color and the exhaust ports on the side, the design was remarkably similar to his old saber. In fact, it was his old saber, just modified and blackened from the heat that his cracked kyber gave off.

“Are bloodied crystals always so…” she was searching for the right word, “ _unstable_?”

“No.” Please, _please_ let this line of questioning end. Kylo didn’t want to relive that night. He’d already replayed it millions of times in his mind, but he knew if she asked, he’d tell her. He could never lie to her and the answer could turn her against him again.

“What happened to yours, then?”

The question was exactly the one he had been dreading. Reaching down, he unclipped his lightsaber from his belt, resting it in his palms. His kyber’s raging aria sang to him, reflecting his inner conflict so perfectly that there was no way it wasn’t _his_. There were chords underneath the melody that reminded him of what it felt like...before. Quiet and lonely notes of the boy he had once been and could never quite shake. Kylo had considered replacing the cracked crystal but it was the one piece of his past that he seemed unable to dispose of.

“It happened...the night I destroyed Skywalker’s temple,” he began. The memory was still so visceral to him. It was as if it was playing out in front of him all over again. He knew that Rey was being pulled into the images as well, “After I pulled my hut down around Skywalker, I felt nothing but fear, rage, and _Snoke_. It was all so _loud_. I couldn’t think beyond the haze except that I had to _leave_. I had to _get out now_.” The memory of his desperation made his mouth dry. He heard Rey’s breathing pick up a pace and knew that she must feel the vestiges of his emotions through him. 

“Some of the other students had come rushing out,” he continued, “I think they came to help, initially, until they saw my lightsaber drawn at my side. They all just stopped, unsure of what was happening. I could hear Snoke telling me not to trust them. That they would soon feel the change in my force signature. He was right.” Kylo couldn’t help the instinctual tightening of his grip around his saber hilt as the bitterness he felt about being used by Snoke for so long reared with the memory.

“The strongest of the group recoiled as I approached and tried to call a warning, but I crushed his windpipe before he could manage to get the words out,” Kylo rushed on because he couldn’t bring himself to look at Rey when she gasped as she saw the shadow of his crimes.

“I cut them down one by one before they could retaliate, and with each stroke, my lightsaber seemed to scream in my hands.” Sometimes, when his nightmares were at their worst, he could still feel that blood-curdling wail.

“My hilt kept getting hotter and hotter, scalding my hand,” his fist burned in remembrance of the branding and he heard Rey hiss in pain. 

Kylo recoiled into himself at the shame of causing her any kind of hurt, but he forged ahead because she deserved to know just what kind of man he was. “It wasn’t until I killed the first sleeping trainee that the kyber cracked. You’ve seen firsthand what flooding a crystal with too much energy can do.” They both took a moment to remember the destruction of Anakin’s saber.

“My hilt burst into flame, heating the metal red-hot. I nearly lost my hand. The sparks caught on some bedding. That was how the temple caught on fire.” He’d never forget the smell of his burnt flesh and flaming wool.

“I have no doubt that I would have died in that fire. The pain I was in seemed to fuel the power in me. And it was _intoxicating_...” They both took a shaky breath as the vision of that power-hungry madness that bordered on ecstasy surged through them.

“I couldn’t have stopped even if I wanted to, and I didn’t want to. If it weren’t for my Knights, the fire would have consumed me, too. It took all six of them working together to subdue me. When I came to, they had ripped the saber free of my hand and wrapped it in bacta pouches and we were in a ship heading to the _Supremacy_.”

Kylo had never told the full story of that night to anyone. A part of him had hoped that finally saying the words out loud would be cathartic. It wasn’t. The anger and guilt came back full force and added to the wellspring of emotions he felt was now a very unhealthy dose of fear. Now that Rey knew the full extent of what he himself had done, there was no way she wouldn’t see him as anything other than a monster. Again. He found it difficult to breathe under the weight of his self loathing.

When he finally mustered the courage to look at Rey, tears were running down her cheeks again. He couldn’t comfort her this time, though. There was no comfort to be had. All he could do was look away. Bile rose bitter in his mouth at the thought that this was the moment that she turned from him completely. The despair he felt was made worse by the fact that he would lose her not because he had an uncontrollable temper, or a habit of belittling her, or any number of horrendous things he could do. No. She was lost to him because for the first time he was finally able to open up about the horrible night he had vowed to turn away from the light forever. He showed her the darkest parts of himself, and she was about to reject him. Just like everyone else he’d ever loved. 

He heard her rise from her bunk. This was it, then. This was the moment she would leave him for good. Except that it wasn’t, because instead of walking away, she stopped in front of him. Her slender fingers wrapped around his sword hand. Gently, she pried the lightsaber from him and placed it on the bunk as she brought his hand up to her lips. She kissed the leather palm of his glove before resting it against her cheek. 

“Oh Ben,” she sighed, “Don’t you see? You don’t have to feel like this anymore.” 

As he finally brought himself to look at her, the sheer amount of _hope_ he saw in her face was luminous, as if the very radiance he always felt inside Rey was cascading out of her, pulling him along in its undertow. _Come back to the light_ , it said. The slivers of brightness that Kylo was unable to eradicate no matter how hard he tried reached out to it.

No. _No_. 

Rending himself from Rey’s grasp, he stood, rejecting the salvation she offered.

“I’m never coming back to the light, Rey. Stop trying to make me!”

Her brows furrowed and he could _feel_ the hurt and anger radiating from her as she straightened and retorted, “I’m not trying to _make_ you do anything!”

“ _Yes_ , you are!”

“No, I’m _not_! But tell me, Ben, why do you choose to suffer? Snoke no longer has influence over you, so _why_?!”

His fist connected with the wall. Pain shot along his knuckles as the skin broke. The wall dented with the Force he had put behind the blow.

“BECAUSE I DESERVE IT!” 

Once the words were out, he didn’t seem to be able to stop them, “I’ve shed so much blood with my own hands I can’t even keep track of it anymore! I stood by while _billions_ of people were slaughtered! _I murdered my own father!_ You don’t just _come back_ from that!”

His breathing came in gasps as he tried to calm his temper. Rey didn’t deserve his ire, he knew that but, as always, he was unable to stop his outburst. To her credit, Rey seemed remarkably unphased by it. He could still feel her anger, and even worse her disappointment, as it roiled underneath the surface, but she didn’t show it outwardly.

“So...now what?” she inquired.

“Now I go to Yavin 4 and find my Knights. Once I have them, I can work on getting rid of Hux’s influence from inside the First Order. Then, I use the power I’ve taken to make the galaxy _better_. So-”

Their connection ended abruptly, and Kylo wasn’t able to finish telling her his plan. Staring at the ceiling, he finished the thought in his head. 

_So that someday, I might actually deserve you._

***

Yavin 4 was exactly like Kylo remembered it. Rainforest as far as the eye could see, its horizon only broken by the tops of the ancient Massassi temples. The humidity was already starting to make the hair stick to the back of his neck as sweat trickled down the sides of his face. 

Upon his arrival to the jungle moon, Kylo had given the burned remains of Luke’s temple a wide berth. After his all too recent revisitation of the memory of his destruction, he didn’t feel like he had the strength to see his handiwork. Instead, he followed the force signature towards the Great Temple. When he was back on the _Finalizer_ and had received his vision, the distance had been too great for him to feel any specific presence. Now that he was on planet, he felt a very particular signature in the Force. 

_Baku._

Baku Groeg was a giant of a man. He had first come to Luke’s temple as a teenager when his mother had turned him over to Skywalker in the hopes that Baku could learn to control his Force amplified strength. There was something...simple about him. For some reason he had formed an immediate attachment to Kylo, who was five years his senior. Kylo had resisted at first, annoyed by his giant shadow. It wasn’t until he found Baku sobbing over the broken body of a whisper bird that he understood why the colossus was so drawn to him.

_“I didn’t mean to…”_ he had looked up at Kylo with his wide red-rimmed blue eyes and held up the bronze-feathered carcass almost like an offering. That was when Kylo felt it. Fear. Suffering. _Darkness._

Like recognized like.

He hadn’t minded his human shadow so much after that. Luke allowed it because as long as Baku was around Kylo, his emotions were kept in check which meant he didn’t hurt anyone. Snoke approved of the connection because he saw a use for the man’s superhuman strength.

What Kylo found interesting in his current situation was that Baku was the only force signature he was picking up. Surely Snoke hadn’t sent him _on his own_? There had to be at least one other knight here...right?

_Wrong._

The whole situation just felt off. Usually, when Snoke had his heart set on obtaining a force relic, the knights were sent out in groups. Kylo was the exception as his primary goal had always been to locate Luke Skywalker. What task could Snoke have possibly trusted Baku with alone? 

Yavin 4’s jungle canopy was too thick for Kylo to fly his command shuttle to where he felt Baku’s signature. He landed on the militarily modified temple’s abandoned tarmac trying not to dwell on the memories of the stories he had been told as a child about the Battle of Yavin. The tales the galaxy knew of as the beginning of the legend of Luke Skywalker and how he made the shot the destroyed the Death Star. Looking at his surroundings to see if there were any speeders that would keep him from having to trek through the dense underbrush on foot, his eyes fell on an old 74-Z speeder bike just inside the Great Temple’s hangar. 

They had never been particularly attractive machines, but they were _fast_. Kylo liked fast. So did Baku, so this must be his. Making his way to the bike, he couldn’t help but admire it. A 74-Z in this condition would sell for half a fortune on the black market. The thought of giving it back to Baku once he found him made him all the more determined to use it now, even though Baku hadn’t. 

Kylo mounted the bike and hoped that the engine still worked after all these years. Pressing the power controls and pulling down the ignition lever, he was rewarded as the engine purred to life and he was propelled forward at an eardrum popping speed. If it weren’t for his pilot reflexes, he probably would have ended up smashed against the wall of the hangar. Now he knew why these bikes were often called “death traps”.

Focusing in on Baku’s essence, he weaved the speeder among the trees. While his trepidation was still foremost in his thoughts, Kylo couldn’t help but enjoy the ride. It wasn’t quite the same thrill he got from doing barrel rolls in his silencer, but it was a close second.

_There_ his instincts told him. Veering off to his left, he turned off the speeder. Before him was another temple. This one quite a bit smaller than the Great Temple, but still several stories tall, just barely piercing through the canopy. It was a simple pyramid design. If the trailing vines were any indication, it hadn’t been disturbed for at least an eon until recently.

Most of the vegetation was almost as tall as Kylo, with the exception of a fairly recently beaten path leading towards the construction. He would have known from the sheer size of the boot prints in the dirt that Baku had entered the complex this way, even without the knight’s Force signature beckoning from inside.

_I have a bad feeling about this..._

As he approached the complex, that sense of _wrongness_ kept getting stronger. Kylo felt his metaphorical hackles rise. It was at that moment he realized the jungle around him was completely...silent. Not a woolamander cry or even the constant chirping of insects that pervaded most jungles could be heard. It was disconcerting at best, and Kylo had never been an optimist. Something was terribly amiss here. There was a disturbance in the Force.

How long had Baku been in this forsaken place? By Kylo’s mental calculation it had been...months. Was that even possible?

A large slab of stone had once served as the doorway to the temple. Baku must have gotten frustrated trying to open it because it was now cracked in two and thrown haphazardly to the side. The portal was all inky, oozing blackness as Kylo stepped through, reaching for his lightsaber.

The crackling blaze of the blade’s plasma cast bloody shadows over the dark stone walls. Rather than opening into a large open space, the inside looked more like a tunnel. It spiraled down with no forks or passageways to break the descent. The further down Kylo went, the more unnatural everything felt. Luckily for him, fear only made him stronger. He used his unease to gather as much dark energy as he could. Which in this abandoned sith temple was quite a lot. He kept his mind focused, ready to unleash the power in an unforgiving blast.

There was a small room with a doorway on the far side at the end of the path. The saber’s light revealed a laboratory of sorts, ancient and covered in what seemed like several millennia of dust and cobwebs. Kylo didn’t know much about the construction of these temples other than they were built by the now extinct Massassi, who historically had been slaves of the ancient sith lords. Looking around, he recognized the tools of sith alchemy.

Still there was no sign of Baku, but his presence was overwhelming. What the hell was going on? Kylo could see the trail of the knight’s passing in the grime. It crisscrossed around the room and brushed over shelves as if he had been searching for something. The tracks eventually lead out the back of the room through the doorway.

Cautiously, Kylo entered the back room. This chamber was significantly larger than the first, but seemed to be empty, at least as far he was able to see with his current light radius. He stepped further into the room and saw what appeared to be the outline of some kind of altar. Another step and something crunched loudly underneath his foot. Looking down he saw...bones. His boot had gone through the ribcage of some small animal. The shine of what was probably blood on them told him that they were fresh.

An animalistic growl sounded from up ahead. Kylo gripped his lightsaber tighter and raised his left hand, ready to unleash the power he had gathered. Where the _fuck_ was Baku? He could feel him. He was close, but there didn’t seem to be any exit from this chamber. What was worse was that now he was near, that feeling of wrongness seemed to be emanating from Baku’s signature.

Eerie dread curled in his stomach as that growl turned more feral. He could hear the distinct click clack of claws on stone as whatever was down here with Kylo moved forward into the light. The creature was massive with bulbous muscles. It had several inches on Kylo’s height, even though it wasn’t standing completely upright. There were black rending claws on its hands. The nails on its toes were shorter, but looked no less dangerous.

It had incredibly long arms that dragged along the floor while its legs bent at an unnatural angle for a biped. Where its eyes and nose should be there were merely slits. A line of spikes crawled down the crown of its head. As it growled, its lips pulled back to reveal dripping, dagger sharp teeth. 

An ancient and primitive fear unfurled in Kylo’s gut as he took in the creature. _Rakghoul._ Suddenly everything he had been feeling snapped into place. Snoke had sent Baku for a sith amulet. The poor knight had completed his task, but not before the amulet had latched onto him. Baku hadn’t been strong enough to resist the effects of the talisman and it had twisted him into this mindless creature. His suspicion was confirmed when his saber glinted off of something on the rakghoul’s chest.

He found himself oddly resistant to fighting this creature. Intellectually he _knew_ that this creature was not Baku, that he was gone, but the loss seemed all the more poignant by the twisted signature of the man who had once thought Kylo his friend. He had come all this way to find him...and now he would have to kill him. Was he going to have to do this to all the knights?

With a roar, Baku lurched towards Kylo at what seemed like an impossibly fast pace for its awkward form. It used its knuckles like a second set of legs, launching itself into a gallop. Kylo threw himself to the side, barely dodging the charge. 

Spinning around, the rakghoul charged again. Kylo released the Force he had been holding. The creature flew back and smacked against the wall with a wounded yelp. However, this just enraged it more. Using its legs it catapulted off the wall and Kylo didn’t have the time to get out of the way. 

His lightsaber flew from his hand as the impact sent Kylo sprawling. When his back hit the floor, he felt a broken bone pierce his back, making it difficult to breath as the weight of the monster pushed him further onto the shard. He had to use both hands to keep its claws from tearing at his chest and all his strength to keep its rending jaws away from his face. At this close distance, he could see a clear, blue eye in the upper slit on the infernal creature’s face. It looked just as tortured as that day with the whisper bird.

That all-too-human eye made everything too much. Kylo used all his fear, pain, rage, and grief to gather the darkness that seeped through every crack in this god-forsaken place. He managed to maneuver his feet between their entangled forms and kicked up, hitting the rakghoul squarely in the chest. With a simultaneous Force blast, he sent it tumbling away from him. Using the precious few seconds the move had granted him, he rolled to his feet, calling to his saber.

It shot through the air and into his waiting hand, right as the monster turned to charge him again. This time Kylo was ready. Ignoring the pain coursing between his shoulder blades, he aggressively ignited the blade, opening his stance to allow for a more powerful charge. Gripping the hilt with both hands, he readied his strike. With a roar of his own, he met the rakghoul’s charge with a swing that severed the creature’s head from its neck. The vestiges of Baku’s signature disappeared.

With a loud crunch, the body landed on the bones that littered the floor. Kylo turned it over so that it was on its back. As he looked down at the twisted thing, profound regret threatened to consume him. If only he had gotten here sooner. Did Snoke do this to all his knights? Twisting them into something beyond recognition? Resolve settled in his mind. If all of the Knights of Ren were these distorted shells of themselves, then he would grant them the mercy of death. 

The amulet around Baku’s neck glinted sadistically in the red glow. Kylo felt immense rage towards it and whichever cursed sith lord had created it. He _would not_ let the damn relic hurt anyone else. 

He positioned himself above the corpse and a twist of grief curled in his gut as he raised his lightsaber in a coup de grâce. “I’m sorry this happened to you...my friend,” he said to the broken corpse that had once been a broken man. 

Bringing the tip of the saber down, he pressed it against the amulet, which immediately turned molten-red. The dark energy inside it wailed in protest, but Kylo held the blade firmly against it. When the blade reached the core, a burst of energy exploded, throwing Kylo back. His head cracked firmly against the edge of the altar.

Almost immediately, blood poured down into his eyes as Kylo collapsed to the floor. He knew that if he lost consciousness in this pit, he would die. He struggled to get to his feet, but his body didn’t seem to be listening to him as blackness curled around the edges of his sight. The darkness encroached even further on his awareness, and he managed to drag himself a few feet before the adrenaline fueled energy he had gathered left him.

Right before he faded into oblivion, Kylo could almost swear he saw a faint blue light and a voice rang in his head.

_“Hang in there, kid.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I say this every time, but thank you to everyone who comes back to read this fic! Your comments are so thoughtful and kudos always make me smile.


	7. Reunited

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Rey get to Kylo on time?

_Of all the stupid, stubborn…_

Rey seethed as she paced the cabin. Even now, when he was free from the First Order, Ben couldn’t put aside his need for power. She had felt him reaching out to her light as he confided in her. He had looked so in awe and innocent for the briefest of seconds as his own light had swelled to meet hers. Then it was gone, the weight of his guilt snuffing it out.

It was clear to Rey now that while Ben did have agency over his own actions, his very turn to the Dark was clearly a manipulation by Snoke. Everyone had darkness, but without Snoke’s incessant whisperings, Rey was starting to doubt that Ben would ever have given himself over so completely. The precious pieces of light she felt in him when he had looked at her were so beautiful. She was sure that her vision of him, peaceful and content, would come to pass if he would only let that light _grow_.

In spite of all their dissensions and differences, Rey cared for Ben, just as he was, more than she was ready to admit. However, seeing him in so much emotional anguish was quickly becoming its own kind of torture to her. If she could sooth all his guilt and self loathing away, she would. All their interactions, and Rey couldn’t remember a single genuine smile. Sure, she had seen his cocky smirks before, like when his eyes had roamed over her body in the interrogation chair. She’d also felt it against her mouth when his fingers had circled lazily around her sex for the first time. Not once had he ever smiled from joy.

She was now determined to get that smile from him one day. Pushing away that thought, her mind returned to the image of Ben from her dream, dead in her arms. It still gnawed in the pit of her stomach. Their connection had flared at exactly the right moment, quelling her fear that the vision had already come to pass. Rey had seen visions that spanned time, so she had nearly panicked at the potential of the events having already happened. Then he had been there, warm and solid in her arms.

Her anger gave way to worry as she walked back and forth in the sleeping cabin. Ben was alive for now, but for how long? With each minute that passed, her unease grew as the Force seemed to spark her nerves with a sense of urgency. Whatever was going to happen would happen soon. She needed to find him.

Pushed into action, she thrust her feet into her boots and pulled on her overtunic. Exiting the cabin, she made her way to the cockpit and cursed as she tripped on a scrap of fabric while she was trying to buckle the long garment into place. Chewbacca had engaged the autopilot and she could hear him grumbling in his sleep from the bunk behind the dejarik board. 

The _Falcon’s_ hyperdrive was on and the nav computer was set to take them back to Naboo. With each passing second that they got closer to the watery planet, Rey grew more anxious. She collapsed into Han’s seat and started to scroll through the ship’s directory of planets. Rey hoped that one would give her that sense of intuition the Force tended to send her when she was on the right track.

After twenty minutes of combing through the directory with not even so much as a twinge, Rey couldn’t help the frustrated huff that growled from her throat. It was at that moment that she heard R2-D2 beep concernedly in binary behind her.

“None of these are _right_ ,” she grumbled.

R2-D2 rolled into the room and with a series of curious beeps. Rey wondered if the droid might be able to help her. Taking a chance, she described everything she could remember from her vision about the planet and what she saw there. 

When she was finished, R2 whistled knowingly and used his data probe to connect to the _Falcon’s_ main computer. He seemed to hum almost conversationally with the ship as he searched the directory and then whirred triumphantly when he found something. Rotating the dome that served as his head towards her, he activated his holoprojector.

Displayed was a planet that looked much like any other, land masses and water swirled together underneath a breathable atmosphere. Rey felt a faint twinge of intuition. The holo projection zoomed into the surface of the planet, showing a quartet of temples peeking through the treetops. Even though there was no color to the image, it was exactly the same as what she had seen in her dream.

“Yes, R2! That’s it!” she smiled at the droid whose beeps seemed just as pleased as hers, “Can you reprogram the nav computer to this planet? I would do it myself, but I’ve never tried to alter course while already in hyperdrive.”

The astromech gave a slightly offended blurp because _of course_ he could do it. His humming resumed when he set to his task.

Rey was honestly surprised at R2-D2’s willingness to just do what she asked. “R2...We should tell Chewbacca before you alter course.”

He let out an inquiring beep.

“Aren’t you programmed to follow his orders?”

R2 let out a sound that sounded distinctly like a snort.

The _Falcon_ lurched, and Rey was thrown against the arm of her seat, elbow smacking painfully against the consol. While she rubbed her arm, R2 reported that they had successfully changed course. She heard a thud followed by a pained yowl coming from the common room.

“I guess I better go explain to Chewie what we just did,” she reasoned. R2-D2 whistled tauntingly, almost sounding like a sarcastic _good luck_ as she got up and headed back to the main area.

Chewie was rubbing his head as he stood from his bed. The movement of the ship changing course obviously must have startled him awake. In his haste to see what had happened he had smacked his head in the enclosed bunk. When he saw Rey coming from the cockpit, he let out an exasperated gripe.

“Don’t worry,” she explained, “R2 just changed our course.”

He tilted his head questioningly. 

She struggled for a moment with what to tell him, finally settling on, “I...had a vision. I...I need to help someone.”

His eyes narrowed in suspicion.

Rey closed her eyes and took a deep breath, hoping her instincts about the wookie were correct, and said, “I need to help Ben.”

In shock, Chewie froze in place. Then suddenly he was letting out a string of curses in Shyriiwook that was on one hand quite impressive and on the other boiled down to: _Fuck no! No way in hell!_

“ _Please_ ,” she pleaded, tears coming to her eyes, “I have to save him. I know you won’t believe me, but he’s _changed_. Or chang _ing_ -”

Cutting her off by throwing his arms in the air, Chewie howled that he didn’t _care_ because he killed _Han_. 

He stopped. The name of his friend still passed his lips with so much grief, but also with it came a realization. The same epiphany that Rey _knew_ would sway him to help her. He hung his head and whined. Taking a chance, Rey stepped up to him and placed her hands on his hairy arms. She looked up, and even with his head hanging, she could meet his blue eyes. 

“You know it’s what he would want.” 

His grief hung in the air between them for a moment. She couldn’t help the empathetic tear that slipped down her cheek. Chewie let out a breath that ruffled her hair, and shrugged her off. Her arms jerked painfully at the motion. Rey knew that he had been gentle, but her armpits were probably going to be sore for a few days. He stormed off towards the cockpit without saying anything more, but she knew that they would maintain course.

***

It still amazed Rey just how many different shades of green were out there in the galaxy. Yet in this instance, her nerves were so overwhelmed that she couldn’t appreciate the beauty of Yavin 4. Leaning over the cockpit console, her eyes scanned the surface of the planet. Chewbacca was clearly still upset with her. His normal affectionate attitude towards her was subdued, but for now at least, he was following her lead.

For the first time, Rey closed her eyes and actively tried to trace the strange connection between her and Ben. The sensation was similar to feeling someone’s Force signature, and yet so much more...acute. She felt him and sighed with relief because he was close, here on the planet somewhere. Then her brows furrowed in worry...his signature was faint...and fading. 

Chewbacca urged her to open her eyes and _look_. She did as he asked, and saw the largest of the temples looming before them. In the open clearing around the building, they could see Ben’s shuttle, the same one from Takodana and Crait, stationed in the grass. Chewie was about to land the _Falcon_ next to the shuttle, but Rey stopped him with a hand to his shoulder.

“No…” She felt the string that connected her to Ben, and it was leading her in another direction. She pointed to the peak she could just barely see through the trees to their left. “There.”

The _Falcon_ hovered over the trees as they reached the smaller temple. Chewie let out a growl of frustration because there was no place to land. He made to head back to the Great Temple, telling her she could walk from there, but Rey pleaded with him to keep hovering. She could feel that string tying her to Ben stretching tighter and tighter with each passing second. Rey didn’t want to acknowledge what it would mean if that bond snapped.

Rey grabbed a grappling gun and an extra length of line before sprinting to the ramp. “I’ll rappel down!” she shouted over her shoulder as the ramp lowered, letting in a blast of hot, humid air along with the noise of the _Falcon’s_ engines. “Just stay here!”

She didn’t wait for a response, just shot the gun until the magnetic fastening latched to the ceiling. Then she was rappelling through a small opening in the trees down to the ground. In her speed, a branch whipped her on the way down, sending a stinging trickle of blood down her cheek. 

Soon the drop was over. She reached the end of the gun’s line. Her feet hovered just above the ground. Letting go, she dropped the few inches left. 

An incredible need to _hurry_ had her hurtling through the underbrush towards the vine-covered monument. Hesitating at the entrance just long enough to ignite her saber, both as a source of light and so she was ready for whatever she found inside, she rushed into the dark. 

Unease gathered in her gut as she made her way through the ancient temple, leaving her nauseous. She could feel Ben getting closer with each hurried step she took. When the path bottomed out into a laboratory, she didn’t even stop to look as she was too focused on the feel of him _just there_ in the room beyond.

The darkness that filled this place seemed to leach the light from her, leaving Rey feeling drained. She saw the creature first, decapitated. Rey had never seen anything that looked so... _wrong_. 

Wrenching her attention away from the remains, she moved further into the darkness, feeling it whisper malevolently around her, and finally saw Ben sprawled on the floor. His name left her lips in a shout as she ran to him. She skidded to her knees, not feeling the slices the debris on the floor cut through her trousers. Ben was unconscious, and she pulled his head into her lap, letting her saber fall to her side, still ignited. She brushed his hair from his face and it was streaked with stickiness and gore that shone black in the green glow of her saber. It was just like her nightmare. 

“No...nonononono!” The words raced out of her mouth. Tears rolled down her cheeks uncontrollably as talons gripped and shredded through her heart. She could feel Ben’s pulse sputtering underneath her fingers, fading with every beat as it caused blood to ooze from his wounds. 

_What’s the use of all this power if I can’t even use it to save the person who...who means the most to me?_

“Rey…”

Darkness gathered around her with her black thoughts. She could feel it trying to worm its way in, promising to give her everything she wanted. In her despair, she began to reach for it…

“REY!”

The shout jolted Rey as if she’d been struck by a live wire. The darkness went scurrying back into the corners of the room as an almost unbearably bright blue light flared. In the middle of that light, which quickly faded to a mere halo, was a man.

Luke looked different from the last time Rey had seen him. Cleaner, for one. His hair was shorter and his beard well trimmed. He also wore the robes she had seen him in that first day on Ahch-To. His Force shone like a becon, running around and through him in much the same way Yoda’s had. He looked exactly like the miracle she needed.

“Help me,” she pleaded, tears flowing freely, “I...I can’t lose him.”

Shock registered on Luke’s face at her admission and what it meant. “I can’t,” regret passed over his features, “I can’t...use the Force like that anymore. I _am_ the Force.”

“Then why are you _here_?!” she bemoaned, curling even further around Ben.

Kneeling down across from her, Ben between them, Luke caught her gaze. His blue eyes pierced through her, demanding she not give in to the darkness that threatened. “Because _you_ can. I’m here to show you how.”

For the first time since Rey stepped into this cursed place, she felt hope swell in her chest, chasing away the shadows. Luke smiled gently at her, as if he could feel it, too. “How?” she asked.

“Close your eyes.”

She did.

“Now _feel_ the Force running through Ben,” Luke instructed.

The first thing Rey felt through the Force was Luke himself. His signature felt different. It was more like the Force itself was concentrated in the spot that Luke’s ghost appeared. Not letting herself get distracted, she turned her senses towards Ben. The Force in him, usually so strong, was weak and fading. But she felt it.

“Can you sense it?”

“Yes.”

“Now find where the Force is most unbalanced.”

Rey scoffed slightly because Ben’s whole _being_ was unbalanced. The Force in him was nothing but a bundle of conflict. She furrowed her brow as she tried to look past the tumult, focusing on the different feelings of Force that she had felt on Ahch-To, particularly those of life and death. 

Bile rose in her throat as she felt just how much life was seeping from him, being replaced with the void of death. She could feel it in all the little wounds he had suffered. The bone fragment stabbing into his back was actually not her biggest concern as she could sense the shard preventing further blood loss. The break in the dam was definitely the contusion to his head. It wasn’t the broken skin and free flowing blood that was the problem. The swelling caused by the blood pooling on his brain was.

“Did you find it?” Luke inquired.

Not wanting to lose focus, Rey nodded.

“Good. Now... _will_ it back into balance.”

She huffed a bit at the abstract nature of his instructions, but it only took a moment for her to grab onto that feeling of life inside of Ben. Cradling it in her mind’s eye, she fed it with the Force flowing through her, willing it to grow. It started to thrive with her ministrations. The string connecting them was bolstered from a fine thread to a vibrating chord, alive and strong. Death was pushed away by the strength of the energy humming between them. 

The blood flowing between her fingers stopped and she could feel the skin underneath knitting itself back together. The swelling dissipated as the blood collecting seemed to flow backwards as his blood vessels repaired themselves, almost as if time had been rewound to before the injury even occured. When Rey felt that the balance between life and death in Ben was restored, she stopped.

A heavy sigh of relief left her lips as the fist clenched around her heart loosened. A large bit of bacta was going to be needed to heal his back, but he would live. When she opened her eyes, she found Luke’s looking back at her, something like pride shone from their azure depths.

Rey bent down and placed her forehead against Ben’s. As if the physical contact was some kind of cure to all his wounds, Ben groaned.

Luke stood up, and he slowly started to fade away.

Looking back up at the jedi, she nodded. They both knew what Ben’s reaction would be to seeing his uncle. “Thank you,” she whispered.

He didn’t acknowledge her thanks, just looked down at Ben. Rey saw many emotions flood through his face: relief, regret, sadness, but most of all there was love as he gazed at his nephew. When his eyes met hers again, she swore she could see ghostly tears gathering there. 

“Take care of him.”

She nodded. Luke faded away just as Ben’s eyes fluttered open.

“...Rey…?”

“Hello there,” she responded, beaming down at him and brushing a sticky mat of hair from his forehead. She let him rest for a moment to get his bearings, but the drain of healing him and being in this dark void of a place was taking its toll on her. They needed to leave. He still wasn’t too aware, so she said, “Come on, let’s get you on your feet.”

It was quite the effort, and Ben hissed in pain as the wound in his back pulled with his movements, but they somehow managed to get him to his feet and leaning against the wall. Rey reached out for his saber and it flew to her hand. She hooked it onto Ben’s belt and picked up her own before slinging his arm around her shoulders. 

Ben could barely walk from blood loss, so Rey was actually grateful for the years of dragging scrap that strengthened and conditioned her body as she mostly dragged him out of the temple, only feeding Ben a little of her energy to keep him moving. When they reached the grappling gun, still hanging from the _Falcon_ , she tied one end of the spare length of rope around their waists and the other one on an extra hook. Since she had had to drop from the line on her descent, she struggled to jump up to grab the gun under the weight of supporting Ben. Luckily, he seemed to be aware enough that with a grimace, he took the clip and hooked it onto the length of cable. Rey had just enough time to wrap her arms low around his back before he pressed the button to retract the line.

He slumped over her shoulders as they ascended through the trees, groaning at the strain. His arms wrapped around her, holding surprisingly steady as they began their ascent. His forearms held her tightly, but his hands gripped her tunic as if he was still trying to convince himself she was really there. Rey tried and failed not to enjoy the feel of him around her, her face resting against his chest as she felt his heartbeat strong against her ear. She had thought she knew the smell of him, strong, sharp, and spicy, from his previous appearances through their bond. It was nothing compared to the reality of having him physically present in her arms. Alive.

When they reached the ramp, it was another painful scramble to get them untied. By the time they were finished, Ben had cold sweat running down his face and he leaned on her again as they entered the _Falcon_ and she closed the ramp. Struggling with her own exhaustion underneath his weight, she took notice as Ben stopped dead in his tracks. Looking up, she saw Chewie standing there, his bowcaster pointed squarely at Ben’s chest. 

Rey didn’t know how he managed it, but Ben disentangled himself from around her and stood up completely straight, barely wincing at the effort. His eyes met Chewbacca’s and they just stared at each other defiantly. The underlying hurt radiating from both of them formed a lump in her throat. How long the stand-off lasted, she wasn’t sure, but the effort and exhaustion was finally too much for Ben. 

His eyes rolled back into his head and he fell forward. Instinctively, the wookie caught him, dropping his bowcaster in the process. Chewie froze for a second, then keened softly as one furry hand came up to hold the back of Ben’s head.

“Come on,” Rey said, reaching for Ben’s feet, “Let’s get him patched up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chewie freaking breaks my heart, folks.
> 
> Also always, thank you to my amazing beta. 
> 
> Kudos, comments, theories, and constructive criticism are always appreciated! You guys keep me writing.
> 
> Also, who caught my L3 reference?


	8. Homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo wakes up after his ordeal in the temple and has to deal with the fallout.
> 
>  
> 
> I made this mood board! Go back and check the other chapters because they all have their own mood boards, too! If you happen to know who did this amazing edit of Kylo and Rey, please let me know so I can give them proper credit. It just came from a google search.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you so much to my beta, Kiley! Bestest friend ever. She's super swamped this month and still found the time to do rounds and rounds of edits for this chapter. 
> 
> This may be my only update this month. As mentioned above, my beta is insanely busy until July, but if we can get the next chapter out to you by the end of the month, then we will!
> 
> Also, come hang out with me on tumblr! Same ID: forestelf86. I mostly post Star Wars and the 100 related things.
> 
> As always, comments and kudos keep me going.

_…?_

Consciousness came to Kylo slowly. He was lying on his stomach, face turned on a soft pillow that smelled faintly like pine and spice. It was a familiar scent that he couldn’t quite place but it filled him with longing and an odd sense of comfort as he laid nestled against the bedding.

His back ached and tingled, a sensation he knew as the effects of bacta. Considering the injury he had sustained, Kylo’s head felt surprisingly good, if a bit foggy. When he finally managed to open his leaden eyes, he grimaced against the too-bright light. It took him a moment to recognize his surroundings. Something in his chest tightened when he finally registered that he was onboard the _Millenium Falcon_. Not just onboard, but he was in the main cabin.

_My father’s scent…_

The avalanche of guilt was familiar, but the sense of homecoming was new, surprising, and not entirely unwelcome. With a groan, Kylo managed to push himself up to a seated position. As he looked around the cabin, he saw signs of his father everywhere. Through the grates of some of the overhead compartments he could see various tools and trinkets. In the closet hung a variety of leather jackets that all somehow looked the same. A holodisk stuck to the built in alcove next to the bed caught his eye. Curious, he reached out and pressed the button to activate it.

_Han Solo was laying on the same bed, passed out, one arm thrown over his eyes. His chest was bare of any shirt, but wrapped around his torso was...Ben. He couldn’t have been more than four years old, and the child Kylo had once been was clinging to his father in sleep. Han’s other arm held his son in place as they slept._

_A feminine, contented sigh echoed over the holovid. The sound caused Han’s head to jerk a bit, and after a moment he slowly lifted his arm from his eyes. A sleepy smile crossed his features as he looked up at the person recording the video._

_“Why are you recording?”_

_“For posterity,” Ben’s mother’s disembodied voice said._

_“How was the council meeting?”_

_Another sigh, this one of exhaustion. Understanding flashed in Han’s eyes. He cocked his head slightly, indicating to the empty space next to him. The recording shook as Leia placed it on the bed next to her husband. After a moment, his mother crawled into the screen behind Han. Her hair was twisted formally, gown elegant yet understated as always. She laid down behind Han, her chin resting in the nook of his shoulder while his free arm circled around her._

_An elegant hand reached down and threaded through her son’s inky curls, caressing softly._

_“How is he?” she asked her husband._

_Han sighed, his hand soothingly rubbed Ben’s back. “He’s sleeping soundly for once, which I guess is good.” Leia leaned her forehead against her husband’s chin. They stayed that way for awhile, two people who loved each other and their child. Then Han kissed Leia’s forehead, “Get some rest,” he said, closing his own eyes._

_Leia kissed his cheek and a smile quirked his lips before she reached over and turned off the recording._

Something trickled down Kylo’s face, tickling his nose. Curious, he reached up and brushed it away. Looking down at his hand, he realized it was a tear. With the revelation came a deluge of emotions so thick and numerous that he actually felt like he was suffocating. 

Too quickly, he stood up with a panicked gasp and made his way to the small refresher, thinking he was going to be sick. The sickness never came, but the nearly hysterical gasps continued. Kylo gripped the edge of the small sink, trying to calm himself. The urge to destroy something had always been able to snuff out the panic before because it channeled his overwhelming emotions into anger. His fingers itched for his lightsaber, and on instinct he reached for it, but it wasn’t there.

_Someone took my lightsaber._

Rage coiled in Kylo’s stomach and threatened a rampage, until he managed to remember where he was. He was on the _Falcon._ While foggy, he remembered Rey coming to his aide on Yavin 4. She was here, somewhere. Reaching out through the Force, he scanned the ship, sensing her light in the cockpit with Chewbacca. He was safe. For now, at least. 

That made it possible for him to shut his eyes and breath deeply in an effort to calm his heart rate. He didn’t want to think about why seeing such a simple display of domestic bliss could affect him so much. Maybe it was seeing them in a moment of happiness when most of his memories were either of squabbles or just absence. Maybe the fact that Kylo could picture his father watching the recording every night before bed, full of regret and longing for the family he lost even after all these years, forced Kylo to confront that even if he hadn’t been the best father, he had cared. His fingers slowly unfurled from the sides of the sink as the wave of emotions the holodisk had brought on calmed from a tsunami into a tangled knot that sat heavily in his chest. Opening his eyes, he looked into the mirror hanging above the sink.

Kylo had certainly seen better days. Aside from the lingering glimmer of panic, his eyes were bloodshot and the dark shadows underneath stood out sharply against his too-pale skin, drained of all color from the blood loss he had suffered. Someone had done their best to remove the blood from his wounds, but his hair was hopelessly matted and his scalp itched. Reaching back, he should have felt at least a nasty bump, but there was nothing. The skin wasn’t even tender like it would have been if it had been treated with bacta. He had experienced and even performed some minor Force healing in the past, but the thoroughness of Rey’s talent was quite...miraculous.

As his fingers combed through a particularly filthy knot of hair, Kylo decided that the first thing he needed was a good long shower. His tunic had already been removed, probably cut away to allow for access to his back, so he was spared the effort of removing his multiple layers. Peeling off his pants, he stepped into the refresher. 

Hissing through his teeth in pain as he stood under the stream, the water cleansed his lesser scrapes and cuts. Once the worst of the grime that had been making the wounds uncomfortable was washed away, he felt the pull of the pain ease. Kylo had to wash his hair three times before it felt clean. The water that had turned rust red when he entered the shower now ran clear. The shower did its best to pound the soreness out of his muscles until the automatic shut off activated.

Grabbing a towel from the wall compartment, he dried his hair as he stepped back into the bedroom. As he did, Rey rounded the corner. Just the sight of her unknotted that tangle of anxiety he had been feeling. She was carrying a large bundle of black cloth. His clothes, he assumed. She saw him and stopped, frozen in place as her eyes ran over his dripping, naked form. Her cheeks bloomed alluringly pink before she looked away to place the garments on the bed.

“I...uh...brought you some clothes,” she explained as her eyes stayed very firmly focused on the pile of fabric.

“You don’t have to look away. It’s nothing you haven’t seen before,” he smirked, completely unabashed in his nudity.

Accepting his challenge with an exasperated sigh, she turned back to him. Just the effect of her gaze on him and the fact that she was physically _here_ , and not a Force projection, had his blood flowing in a distinctly southern direction. Rey’s eyes flicked down as she watched it happen, her lips parted and she gently bit her lip. Kylo had the urge to replace her teeth with his own, and with that thought, he was fully erect. She gasped gently as she took in the sight of what her mere presence could do to him.

He dug his fingernails into his palms to keep himself from going to her and ripping the clothes from her body so he could fuck her right where she stood. The urge was intense, but he was also finding that he _enjoyed_ it when she looked at him with that hunger in her eyes and the bond between them vibrated with her arousal. It made him feel strong and incredibly masculine. Emboldened by how her appreciation affected him, he prowled towards her. 

As he invaded her personal space, he saw Rey follow a bead of moisture as it made its way down his chest, and revelled in masculine triumph as her throat bobbed with a gulp. Kylo reached out to brush his index finger along the seam of her lips as he thought about what else she could swallow. Her eyes glazed over, breath hitched, and her lips parted at the touch. Taking advantage of the opening, he slid his finger inside her mouth. Rey’s eyebrows flashed with surprise. She seemed to be considering something before she sealed her lips around his digit and sucked, her tongue twirled around his tip. The look in her eyes was purely wolfish.

Kylo let out a groan and leaned down so he could kiss her. Her hooded gaze seared into him as he closed the gap. Right as their lips were about to touch, he couldn’t help a sharp inhale of pain as the delicate new skin on his back stretched with his movements. Rey’s eyes cleared and she jerked her head just out of reach.

“You’re hurt.”

He chased her as she pulled away, rubbing the tip of his nose around hers. Her eyes fluttered and her head tilted up towards his. Smirking at the effect he could have on her, he assuaged, “I’m feeling remarkably...healed.”

Apparently that was the wrong thing to say. Eyebrows furrowing in anger, her eyes shot open and she took two large steps away, keeping him out of reaching distance by stepping back yet again when he tried to follow.

“You almost died,” she seethed inexplicably.

“But I didn’t.”

“But you _could_ have!”

“But I didn’t,” he reiterated.

Her fists clenched at her sides. “Do you even know how _close_ you came? How _lucky_ you are?!” she practically snarled.

“I don’t believe in luck,” his tone brooked no opposition. Rey’s eyes darkened in anger.

“Oh, really?” her voice dripped with danger, “Then what _do_ you believe in?”

“Destiny.”

Since the moment of his birth, Kylo had been told that he had a Great Destiny. He was a Prince of Alderaan. A Skywalker. Heir to Vader. The weight of his legacy always laid heavily on his shoulders, but never once did he doubt that the Force had a specific fate in mind for him. Snoke had always been very deliberate in reminding him of it every time he stepped out of line.

“Destiny,” she repeated, stoically.

“Yes. If I were destined to die in that temple, I would be dead.”

The snarl was back. Rey bared her teeth and Kylo could practically hear a furious growl as she stepped forward, pointing a sharp finger into his chest. “Let me tell you something about destiny, _Ben Solo_.” 

She started poking him determinedly on his sternum. “If I hadn’t had a vision of you in that temple-” Poke.

“If R2 hadn’t been able to find what planet you were on-” Poke.

“If I hadn’t been able to convince Chewbacca to help me save you-” Poke.

“If I had gotten to you just a _moment_ later-” Very determined jab.

“Then you _would_ be dead right now.” With each prod, her eyes turned aqueous, shining with angry tears.

“But I’m not.”

“BUT YOU _WOULD_ BE!” 

Kylo attempted to reach out to her, but her hands flew out and hit his chest with a wet smack that pushed him back. He saw a quick flash of tears spill down her cheeks before she completely closed herself off to him and turned to walk away, smacking the door jam angrily with the side of her first on her way out.

_Fuck._

Kylo was used to putting himself into dangerous situations. Every time he had met with Snoke, he had always known there was a chance he wouldn’t walk out alive. When he went off in search of the Knights of Ren, he hadn’t even considered what effect putting himself at risk would have on Rey. It was actually nice to know that she cared about his well being. It had been so long since he felt like anyone like anyone had. That didn’t change the fact that he was a fucking idiot.

He let out a frustrated growl as he ran a hand through his damp hair and turned to get dressed so he could follow her. She had grabbed a fresh shirt and pair of pants from his ship rather than his full ensemble, most likely in an effort to keep her load light between ships. Once he finished drying off, he jammed his legs into the pants and tucked in the loose shirt. He found his boots beside the bed and put them on.

Kylo was about to go after her when he stopped, remembering the look on her face when she stormed out. Part of him wanted to go after Rey straight away because he didn’t like leaving arguments unfinished. However, not once had he seen her so angry with him. Not even when she was trying to kill him on _Starkiller Base_. Rey also wasn’t they type to run away from a fight, whether it be physical or merely a disagreement. 

_Maybe I should give her a little time to cool off._

Beginning to pace back and forth in the small cabin, he worked his jaw as he thought of what he could say to sooth her temper. He didn’t think what he said was _wrong_. However, as he scanned back through their altercation, he realized that he had been quite...inconsiderate. Ever since their bond reignited, Rey had done nothing but show that she cared for him. Not once had he ever really considered how his death might impact her. Rey always seemed so strong. This was the first time she actually seemed...broken, and it was at the thought of losing him.

After ten minutes of restless prowling, Kylo’s patience was spent and he knew that he had to go to her. To explain. To apologize. To show Rey that it was alright for her to be weak in front of him. That she could trust him not to hurt her...again.

Making his way into the corridor, he heard the distinct sound of a sonic drill coming from the number three hold. He felt her signature there, so he followed the sounds into the hold. When he entered, he saw that the maintenance repair hatch was propped open. R2-D2 was standing next to a sprawl of tools, his claw extended, ready to hand Rey whatever she asked for. 

The droid’s head turned when Kylo approached. He looked the man up and down. Kylo couldn’t help feeling that the droid somehow found him lacking as the dome turned away from him dismissively without uttering a sound. 

“R2, give me the hydrospanner, please,” Rey called out from below. 

Kylo moved forward to grab the tool so he could hand it to her, thinking that it was a good way to get her to talk to him. R2 noticed his approach and belligerently reached for the hydrospanner at the same time. Reaching it first, Kylo claimed the wrench. The droid’s red sensor flashed and seemed to glare at him, and Kylo glared right back in a silent standoff. The astromech let out a nasty _blurp_ before rolling away.

“What was that?” Rey called out distractedly to the now absent droid. Kylo could hear the sounds of her climbing out of the pit before her head popped up. They made eye contact and her face shut down. Without a word, she grabbed the tool from his hand and disappeared back into the hole. Kylo followed her. 

Rey was standing as far away from him as she could in the confined space, which wasn’t far. Ducking under a pipe, he came closer and stood mere inches from her back. She very pointedly did not address his presence, but he could feel the waves of annoyance and anger through their bond. 

“What’s wrong with the power converter?” He asked, trying to sound as normal as possible with her seethingly ignoring him.

He could tell that she took a moment to decide whether or not she was going to acknowledge him or not. Finally, she sighed and turned her head to the side, though she didn’t look at him directly. “Aside from the fact that it’s ancient and hasn’t been serviced properly in awhile, nothing.” As she spoke, she used the hydrospanner to loosen a joint on one of the panel levers. When she was finished, she yanked the lever down, narrowly missing elbowing Kylo in the chest. He had a feeling that she was disappointed to have missed.

Tuning into her force essence, he was able to look past the anger and annoyance and felt the deep hurt that was lingering there. Remembering how his touch seemed to calm her that night she fell into his arms after her nightmare, he took another step closer until he was pressed against her back. She tensed at the touch, but didn’t recoil, so he reached to embrace her. 

“Oi! Get off,” she tried to shrug him away once his arms reached her periphery, but there wasn’t much heat to the words or gesture.

“No,” he responded as he wrapped his arms around her torso, arms crossing over her chest and waist. When she didn’t try to remove him again, he sighed internally with relief. Kylo pulled her in, resting his chin on her shoulder so they were cheek to cheek. He held her close and breathed slowly, hoping that his calmness would soothe the edges of her displeasure. She was stiff in his embrace at first, but gradually her shoulders relaxed as her breathing synchronized with his.

Closing his eyes, he allowed himself to soak in her presence and tightened his hold. Touching her didn’t feel any different than it had through their bond, but _knowing_ that she was really here made the sensation feel...sharper. Less metaphysical and more concrete. He could focus on just the sensation of having her truly in his arms. As he did, his thumb rubbed lovingly on her shoulder while his other hand traced circles on her hip. Kylo found himself overcome with fondness for her because she had sensed he was in trouble and had come to help. Rey had saved him.

_Fuck,I love her so much._

Ever so gently, he rubbed his cheek against hers, feeling the softness of her skin. When he brushed against a scratch there, he turned and placed the most tender and lingering of kisses on it.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

Wordlessly, her arm came up and she grasped the forearm around her shoulders and squeezed lightly, returning his caress with a nudge of her own against his stubbled cheek. He felt her anger dissipate through the force and knew he was forgiven, but he assumed her silence meant that she was waiting for an explanation. He took a moment to collect his thoughts before offering one.

“The Force gave me a vision,” he explained, “It showed me that in order to be with you...I needed to have my Knights by my side. They’ve been gone for awhile, but I assumed Snoke just had them doing other things. Now, after what happened to Baku...him turning into that _thing_...I’m pretty sure Snoke sent them off to die.”

Rey nodded, as if she wanted to show him that she was listening.

“When I went into that temple alone, I knew that it was dangerous. I felt it the second I stood outside that broken door. Baku...I’ve always felt responsible for him, ever since we were trainees under Luke. I _had_ to help him if I could, even if it meant putting myself at risk. But, I didn’t think about how my actions might affect you.”

“No, you didn’t,” she responded, quietly admonishing.

“I...” he struggled with the right words, “I’m not used to having anyone care what happens to me.”

She turned her head towards him. “You know that’s not true.”

Thinking back to the holovid, he nodded. “Maybe you’re right,” he admitted, acknowledging the truth that had been beating him over the head since he stepped onto this ridiculous hunk of junk. It felt like a huge step towards....something. Maybe it was acknowledging and reclaiming the love his parents felt for Ben...for him. Maybe it was finally realizing that his family, with all their legacies and abilities, were just people, flawed and imperfect, but who had tried their best even if they ultimately failed. Maybe it was both. He couldn’t quite embrace the idea yet, but it was there, growing in the corner of his thoughts. “It’s been a long time since I _felt_ like anyone cared.”

“Just so we’re clear…” she bit her lip in uncertainty before looking down to fiddle with the hydrospanner in her hands, “I...I can’t lose you, Ben.”

Her admission brought tears to his eyes as he was overwhelmed by the love and gratitude he felt simply by having Rey in his life. To know that she needed him, just as much as he needed her was a balm for all the hurt and abandonment he’d felt for so long. Kylo would never be able to fully understand why she cared for him, but she did, and for once, he didn’t doubt it. 

“You won’t,” he said, voice thick with emotion.

“Promise?” she asked. Rey’s voice was just as raw as his own.

“I promise,” he answered fervently.

Needing more contact, he started trailing gentle kisses on her cheek, the side of her nose, and then finally their lips met. The angle was slightly awkward, but for the gentle press of lips it worked. Continuing his path, he rained light, sweet, worshipful kisses down her neck, which she arched to receive with a contented sigh.

Moving the fingers that had been holding her shoulder, he began a feather-light trail along the v of her tunic as he continued to kiss and nuzzle along her neck. Rey’s delighted hum as he sucked along her jaw sent a pulse of pleasure shooting all the way to his toes. When he nudged the fabric of her tunic aside with the tip of his nose to kiss her sun-freckled shoulder, her exhale came tremoring out. He took her shudder as an invitation and leisurely slipped his hand inside her top to caress her breast. It felt perfect in his hand as he gently stroked its underside before massaging it gently. When he rolled her nipple under his thumb, she groaned.

“Your back...,” she said, voice breathless.

His back was the furthest thing from his mind as he felt her breath heave heavily under his ministrations. Using his free hand, he took the hydrospanner from her grasp and placed it on a nearby circuit box. Slowly, her hands came up to clasp the arm he was using to massage her. He gingerly brushed the tip of his nose from her shoulder up to her ear, taking in her scent. When he spoke, he found that his voice was just as wrecked as hers had been, husky and deep.

“Please, just...let me touch you.”

When he sucked her earlobe into his mouth and nibbled lightly, she nodded. Rey shakily unfastened her belt as he slid his free hand under the hem of her shirt. Without the belt, he could trail his hand all the way up to give her other breast the equal treatment it deserved. When he did, she closed her eyes, biting her lip. A bead of sweat rolled down her neck and he trailed it with his tongue, tasting the salt it left behind. Her taste and smell enfolded him in a gentle euphoria as Rey moaned and threw her head back against his shoulder.

Kylo continued to nuzzle, lave, and caress until she ground against him, the friction feeling incredible. He thrust back enthusiastically. They both gasped from the sensation.

From the desperate sounds Rey was making, he knew she needed a more...private touch. His hands smoothed down her sides, caressing her petal soft skin, and he inhaled deeply as he felt her skin ripple from his mere touch. Slipping one hand around her waist and the other into her pants, he cupped her mound. He could feel her heat as she gasped at the contact. He rubbed his hand along her there for a moment, enjoying how she filled his palm, before dipping a finger between her folds.

She was already so wet for him and he couldn’t help but moan as he bit down on her shoulder gently and sank a finger into her, intoxicated by her arousal. Her strong hands shot down to cling to his thighs as she leaned even more fully against him. When he slid a second finger inside and rubbed that ridge that had made her break last time, she let out a choked half-sob.

He set a slow pace at first, getting used to the angle which didn’t allow him to go too deep but caused the heel of his palm to drag along her clit as he drove into her. She met his every movement with one of her own that set her gyrating against him. Losing himself to the sensation, he pulled her even closer, picking up the pace. Kylo found himself panting to the rhythm they set as Rey’s groans became keens the closer she got to the edge. His cock bulged and strained almost unbearably in his pants. When she finally fell apart, her fist flew to her mouth to stifle her release as her core fluttered around his fingers and that feeling nearly sent him over as well. Her body collapsed bonelessly in his arms. As he held her there, he felt undeniably sure that he wanted to hold her for the rest of his life.

For her first few breaths, each exhale that Rey took came out as a quiver as she came down from her orgasm. Kylo’s need cooled somewhat as he breathed in the sweat and sunshine scent of her hair. The satisfaction of knowing what his mere touch could do to her would never fade, and it brought a smirk to his lips. He hid it by placing a gentle kiss against her ochre hair.

When she recovered enough to support her own weight, he released her. Rey turned around and met his gaze just as he sucked his slicked fingers into his mouth to savor her taste. The musky sweetness, evidence of how much she wanted him, a craving Kylo felt he’d never fully quench. That wasn’t going to keep him from trying. She growled and yanked him to her by his shirt, the momentum causing him to brace his arms against the wall or risk crushing her as her lips claimed his.

Meeting her fire with his own, their tongues and teeth clashed. Rey had just started to pull Kylo’s shirt from his pants when a loud _CLANG CLINK CRASH_ broke them apart. The tools that had been lined up on the edge of the hatch had fallen, coming dangerously close to giving Kylo another brain injury. Looking up, he saw a flash of silver and blue and heard a very distinct _innocent_ whistle as R2 rolled away from the edge.

_I’m going to dismantle that droid. Slowly._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gee...I wonder what inspired that flashback scene?
> 
> I can't seem to write these two without all the feels. #sorry not sorry 
> 
> Also, enjoy the next few chapters of smuttiness because after that will be lots of plot. So much plot.
> 
> #R2-D2 is a cockblocker


	9. Facets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Fourth of July!
> 
> As you can see by the mood board, this chapter is pretty much just smut. I needed a filler chapter from Rey’s POV, so you all get this. I’m sure you’re all terribly upset. ~.^
> 
> As always, thank you to my amazing beta! And to all of you amazing readers who are still along for my crazy ride.

_Stop...looking at...his hands._

Rey blinked, trying her hardest to focus on the words coming out of Ben’s mouth. Instead, she found herself fixated on the way he rubbed the side of his index finger along his upper lip. The same finger that had been in her mouth, and then in _her_ , not more than a few hours ago. 

They were onboard his shuttle. Ben was leaning in the pilot’s seat, the hologram of his communicator showed a woman in the regalia of a high-ranking officer of the First Order. After about twenty minutes of listening to update reports and being impressed with Ben’s general readiness and capability to address the issues of ruling an entire galaxy, Rey found her mind wandering.

She was trying really hard not to think about how sexy he looked as he listened to the...Admiral’s?...report. His elbow perched on the side of the seat as he leaned into his hand, rubbing those incredible lips of his. With his eyebrows slightly furrowed, his expression was one of complete focus. This was the first time she was seeing him as Supreme Leader. It suited him more than she had thought it would.

Once Ben had laid out his plan to find the Knights of Ren, Rey hadn’t even hesitated before insisting she was going with him. If what happened to Ben on Yavin 4 was just the beginning of his journey, he was going to need all the help he could get. Especially since it looked like his next stop, according to the vision he told her about, was going to be Moraband, the now deserted planet that had once been the homeworld of the Sith. If he had gotten into such peril going into one ancient Sith temple, what would happen when he entered a whole _valley_ of them? Rey felt that she needed to stay by his side if he was going to walk right back into the danger that she had pulled him out of. 

Being in Ben’s presence, seeing him safe and whole after those days of uncertainty, felt like breathing for the first time. Rey was always a little conflicted about how she felt towards Ben. Her feelings had developed so suddenly that she had never fully had time to process them. Was it just attraction? While that was definitely at the forefront of her thoughts as she watched him, that wasn’t all she felt. Her reaction to his near death, and the relief she was feeling now, pointed clearly to the fact that she cared for him. The problem was that the rapid pace of their relationship left her doubting how much she actually _knew_ him. Hopefully, being together would help with that.

When Rey had told Chewie she wasn’t going back to Naboo with him, he had grumbled unhappily. He didn’t trust Ben. It took awhile for Rey to convince him of her resolve, but once she did, he stopped trying to change her mind. As they were leaving, she had slipped R2 a holodisk to give Leia, and only Leia, when he saw her again. Chewbacca had given Ben a very distinct _if you hurt her, I will rip your arms off_ look, his growl sounding low and menacing in his throat. Ben had paid it no mind, waiting as Rey gave the wookie a parting hug before placing a gentle hand on the small of her back and guiding her into his shuttle. Her spine tingled from the contact.

Rey felt like she was doing more good for the galaxy by helping Ben. Granted, she was a bit nervous about looking for a group of Dark Side users, but Ben said that he needed them in order for his plan to succeed, and Rey trusted him.

_Huh. Imagine that._

If someone had told her after her fight with him on _Starkiller_ that she would come to trust Kylo Ren not just with her life, but with her heart as well, she would have thought them completely insane. Rey had started to see a change in him while she was training under Luke on Ahch-To. Well, maybe he wasn’t so much changed at that point, but she had definitely seen another facet of his personality. For the first time, she had seen past the monster to the man. He had been intelligent, insightful, and a surprisingly good listener. Then, when they had that first touch of fingers over the fire in her hut, she had finally felt his grief, guilt, and self-loathing that had made him human. Made him redeemable.

The longer she knew Ben, the more facets she uncovered. Since they had reconciled, she had seen his sweet and loving side, almost childlike in its sincerity. Now she was seeing him as Supreme Leader. It should have been terrifying, but she found him remarkably calm, resourceful, and surprisingly...benevolent as he formulated plans with his Admiral on how to stabilize the different regions under his control.

It was _really_ sexy.

As if he could sense her thoughts, his gaze flicked to where she was reclining sideways, feet dangling over the armrest in the copilot’s seat. The look he gave her was one of pure sin that sent a jolt through her entire body. She felt the heat of her flush in her cheeks as she saw the edges of his lips curve underneath his hand.

“Supreme Leader?”

He turned back to the holo, “Yes, Grand Admiral Keel?”

“If you’re busy, we can do this another time.” Rey nearly choked trying to hold back her laughter at the Admiral’s unimpressed tone. There weren’t many people who would risk the Supreme Leader’s anger. Rey found herself impressed by the woman’s gall. 

“No. I was...distracted...” his eyes flashed to Rey again, but only for a split second, “Please continue.”

Not wanting to be a _distraction_ , Rey decided that she would go find herself a bunk. She had stuffed most of her belongings from the Falcon into a bag when she decided to go with Ben. Rey hadn’t yet had the chance to find them a new place because the sound of his alert system blaring had distracted them both when they first boarded the shuttle. They discovered that Grand Admiral Keel had been trying to reach Ben for over a day. She’d been upset that he had deactivated his tracking device. Rey breathed a sigh of relief at the fact when the Admiral commented how she had almost sent a small squadron to look for him. If a patrol had shown up on Yavin 4, the _Millennium Falcon_ was probably registered as the most wanted Resistance ship in the galaxy since the remains of the Resistance had escaped Crait. That would have been trouble.

Picking up the bag that she had dropped near the entry, she searched for the crew’s bunks. The ship wasn’t that large, so it didn’t take her long. Rey took the opportunity to really examine the interior of Ben’s shuttle. She had heard from Finn that Ben had carried her onto the imposing spacecraft when he had captured her on Takodana, but being unconscious at the time, she had no recollection of the event. It was state of the art, the best credits could buy, but with the onyx durasteel absorbing all the light, she couldn’t help but feel oppressed. She’d take the worn brightness of the _Falcon_ any day of the week. Plus, with everything being top of the line, there was nothing for Rey to tinker with. Rey _liked_ to tinker.

The crew's cabin had four bunks. Rey chose the bunk closest to the door, wanting an easy escape route...just in case one of the Knights decided that it was time to end the Jedi Order once and for all. The ship shifted under Rey’s feet, nearly sending her toppling onto the bunk. Ben must have finished his debrief and plotted their course to Moraband. _A warning would have been nice_. Rey scowled in the general direction of the cockpit. She had just opened her bag when Ben strolled in, leaning against the doorframe.

“What are you doing?” he had a puzzled look plastered on his face.

“Unpacking,” she stated, as if it wasn’t obvious, and gesticulated with the shirt in her hand.

He reached out and took the shirt she was holding and then slung her bag over his shoulder with an, “I don’t think so.” The part of Rey that chafed at Ben’s controlling side wanted to resist and grab her belongings back, but the part that lusted after his confidence was curious about what he was planning. Ben’s hand was warm and calloused when he grabbed her wrist and led her out of the room. Rey really did love his hands.

Ben led her down the hall to another door and led her inside. It was the captain’s cabin, which was much smaller than the crew cabin. It only had a double bed, some built in compartments, and a door to a small refresher: all black, of course. The best feature of the room was the window that had been cut out of the onyx durasteel. It took up most of the far side of the wall, running parallel to the bed. The surface so smooth and clean that she could see her faint reflection on the surface. Streaks of light, a telltale sign of hyperspace travel, filled the dark room with dancing lights.

She made her way over to the viewport, mesmerized by the glimmering beams. There was a _thunk_ as Ben deposited her belongings into one of the compartments. The reflection off the transparisteel gave away his approach, so she turned to meet him.

“And why can’t I have my own bunk?” She smirked, unable to resist challenging his possessiveness. In truth, the idea of sharing a bunk with Ben gave her a thrill, but she hadn’t wanted to assume that’s what he would want. Still, Rey wasn’t about to condone his controlling nature.

“Math,” was his simple response, as he caged her against the viewport, arms on either side of her head. With his large frame, she should have felt crowded, but all she could think was closer. “Five knights left, four beds in the crew cabin, and the only person I want sharing your bed is me.”

_Damn, that smirk._

Biting her lip to try to hide her smile, she retorted with, “Who says I want to share my bed at all?”

One long fingered hand lowered from the viewport to caress up and down her arm. His sable eyes followed his hand as it trailed down, his look soft and reverent. When his fingers stroked their way back up her arm, his eyes met hers again. She marveled at how one touch, one look, from him could affect her so much as her nerves turned to liquid flame everywhere his fingers touched. Her eyes closed involuntarily when his fingers laced with hers, her head resting against the cool transparisteel as he stepped closer, their bodies almost touching. The air between them almost seemed to crackle.

“The look on your face when you were watching me said all I need to know.” With her eyes closed, she could feel his breath as he spoke, voice low and thick with want. It rustled the loose strands around her forehead, sending little thrills shooting down the sides of her face and collecting in her jaw that told her to _kiss him_.

She resisted, though. Opening her eyes, she looked up at him through her lashes as she disentangled her fingers from his so she could run her hands up his chest. The feel of the hard planes of his body underneath his thin shirt electrified her neurons through her fingertips. Ben hummed low in his throat as he returned her gaze, his eyes shining with an almost predatory glow as he gave her that infernal smirk she loved so much, “Yeah...that’s the look.”

A part of Rey wanted to give in, to crash herself into him and revel in the heat she knew would meet her. However, right now she was really enjoying the hunt, the challenge of who would break first, and the tension it created between them. Her hands slid up his neck and tangled in his hair. The raven strands weren’t exactly soft, but they were silky and thick. She loved the feel of them between her fingers. Given the way his voice rumbled deep in his throat and his eyes shuttered as she lightly massaged his scalp, he enjoyed it just as much. 

“Maybe,” she took a step closer, their torsos finally touching, “I just want to use you for your body.”

He leaned in, his nose brushing hers. It’s unfair how he already knew how much she liked that. “Then use it,” he challenged, voice so sexily deep it reverberated in her bones.

“I will...but I’m not going to share my bed with anyone.” 

“Like hell you aren’t,” he growled.

His fingers wrapped around her hips and pulled her impossibly closer, the effects of their exchange already hard between them. Then finally, _finally_ , their lips met. Rey didn’t know who broke first, and she didn’t care. 

Expecting Ben’s consuming fire, she was surprised when the kiss turned out to be, not soft, but slow. His lips moved firmly against hers. When his tongue slipped through her lips, it seemed as if he was savoring her as they swayed back and forth slightly. At first, she clutched his shirt in frustration, wanting to be ravaged, but soon she found herself melting into the kiss with his tender ministrations. Those hands she loved rubbed up and down her back and even though they were touching in almost every possible place they could; Rey needed to be closer. 

Raising herself up onto her tiptoes with a groan, she slid her arms around his shoulders and pulled herself up, sliding her hands even further into his hair as she changed their angle, which allowed her to kiss him deeper. Rey couldn’t help but fist her hand in his sleek waves. Her heart thudded a furious tempo at his grunt of pleasure.

A surprised squeak escaped her lips, muffled by his mouth, as Ben’s strong hands gripped the back of her thighs and lifted her off the ground. She wrapped her legs around his waist. The cold transparisteel shocked a gasp from her as he pressed her against the viewport. Dual sensations of hot and cold causing overstimulated goosebumps to shiver up and down her body.

Ben broke their kiss at her tremor and rubbed her thighs soothingly as he looked up at her. “Good?” he asked, eyes wide. There it was, that incredibly sweet and loving facet of his. When she looked down at him, an emotion so incredibly strong coursed through her as she watched the flickering blue of the lights outside dance across his face. 

_I love you._

She wanted to tell him. Rey knew that he had been waiting for her to say it. Having never said those words to anyone, they caught in her throat, an invisible barrier preventing the words from being said. Instead, she brushed her fingers through his hair, taming the locks she had disheveled before leaning her forehead against his.

“How long do we have until we reach Moraband?”

“All night.”

“Good,” she placed a light peck on his lips and hoped that he could see what she was feeling through her expression. Wrapping her arms around his neck she said, “Take me to bed, Ben.”

Unable to say the words, she could cede him this victory. His lips turned up in a smile, not a full beam, but a soft curvature that was still heartbreakingly beautiful as it touched her mouth. Rey tried to pour everything she was feeling into the kiss and felt him respond in kind as he turned and laid her on the bed, settling on top of her. 

It was difficult to pull away from his lips when he kept kissing her like that was all he wanted in the entire galaxy, even when she could feel his need pressing against her. Rey finally pushed him back so she could undress him. Sitting up, forcing Ben to sit back onto his calves, she slipped her hands into his waistband to pull his shirt lose. As she slid it up and over his head, she caressed his chest and rubbed his nipples with her thumbs. 

She followed her hands with her mouth, which elicited a groan from Ben as he pulled the bindings out of her hair and threaded his fingers into it. She kissed her way up his neck and jaw, oddly enjoying the scratch of his stubble that he hadn’t been able to shave for a few days. Their lips met again, and this time his familiar heat and desperation was there as he removed his hands from her hair to unfasten her belt with frantic fingers.

Rey’s belt tossed to the side, his hands parted her tunic, sliding it down her shoulders before he peeled off her undershirt. Wasting no time, he pulled her to him, his warm skin feeling so _right_ against her own. Ben dragged his lips along her jaw, kissing as he went, stopping to suck just behind her ear, sending a thrill through Rey that had her arms grip him even tighter and gasp, accompanied by her smile of enjoyment.

He kissed a trail down her neck as he ever so gently laid her back against the bed. Once she was resting against the pillows Ben continued kissing downwards. The familiar feel of his lips tasting her skin brought a sigh to Rey’s lips as she closed her eyes to just enjoy the sensations. A lick to her clavicle. A suck on her nipples that had her arching into his mouth. A gentle kiss right below her belly button as his fingers dipped into her waistband and pulled.

She arched her hips to assist him, and Ben rose onto his knees, pulling her pants and underwear off, eyes never leaving hers until her boots got in the way. With an impatient growl he yanked them off, throwing each one over his shoulder in turn. This also prompted him to stand up to kick off his own boots. His large frame filled the room as he loomed at the end of the bed, brows furrowed in frustrated concentration. The sight surprised an amused laugh from her. 

“What’s so funny?” he asked, raising a nonplussed eyebrow as he struggled to untangle Rey’s pants from around her ankles. Ben smirked triumphantly as he succeeded and threw them aside with a harrumph.

“You. So impatient.” Her head tilted fondly as she looked at him. Funny, she had been so nervous the first time she’d been bare before him, but in light of his fervent antics, any self consciousness she might have felt had disappeared. Rey watched him take in her naked form and her whole body flushed not from embarrassment, but anticipation.

That Hunter look she knew so well was back in his eyes as he got back on the bed, kneeling by her feet. “Impatient?” his voice was dangerously seductive as he lifted her leg into his hands, rubbing her calf, “We’ll see.” 

His hands rubbed her calf again, with just enough pressure to feel really soothing. Then Rey made the mistake of looking him in the eyes and the sheer hunger and desire she saw in them had her breath catching in her throat. Ben’s smirk was back because _of course_ he could sense how much he affected her. His thumbs rubbed her knee, fingers trailing along the back of it and she gasped, trying not to laugh at the ticklish sensation.

She knew she was in trouble when those amazing hands reached her thigh. The pressure that had felt relaxing on her calf felt anything but as Ben leaned in with the motion, aligning their bodies. Rey was overwhelmed by the sensation of his hands and the heat of his eyes as his face neared hers. His nose touched hers right when the tips of his long fingers reached the apex where her thigh met her body. She gasped at the sensitivity, so close to where she wanted him and yet feeling like a million light years away, and arched up to kiss him. He kept just out of her reach so their mouths wouldn’t touch, making her chase him.

A frustrated growl passed her lips and he smirked...right before withdrawing from her completely, hands smoothing back down her leg. Rey fell back against the pillows with an undignified grunt that only caused Ben’s smirk to become even more self-satisfied. She forgave him easily, though, when his thumbs massaged the sole of her foot and he pressed a kiss on her arch that had her closing her eyes before he started a lazy trail of kisses up her leg. 

The warmth of his lips felt even more incredible than his hands had, soft and gentle as Ben sucked patches of skin between his lips, barely touching the spot with his tongue before moving to the next one. Rey’s heart thudded in anticipation as he kissed the crease of her thigh that his fingers had teased earlier. 

Rey looked down at him just as his head hovered over her center, his black hair falling over his forehead. Ben’s breath brushed hotly against her folds as he rubbed the inside of her thighs, his arms encircling her limbs in a sensuous embrace. The look on his face was pure _hunger_ , and she could see his chest rise and fall in rapid succession. Rey fisted her hands in the bed sheets, overcome with eagerness. His mouth started to lower, the slight tightening of his grip the only major sign of his anticipation. Rey couldn’t help but arch towards him in response. The movement brought his eyes flicking to hers, and when he saw her watching him, his expression turned to one of sultry mischievousness before he turned his head and started kissing down her other leg. 

“Ben…” she had meant it to come out like a threat, but it sounded more like a whine.

The deep chuckle that she heard did unholy things to her mind. He settled down more comfortably between her legs, head on her hip as he looked up at her. “Come on, sweetheart,” he turned his head and bit down on her thigh, just hard enough she knew it’d leave a mark. But she didn’t care because when he called her that, _sweetheart_ , nothing else seemed to matter. He met her eyes again, and she saw his fondness through the smirk, “I’ve barely even gotten started.”

There it was, another facet of him: playful.

He kissed her then, sucking the bundle of nerves that was already throbbing for him. So overwhelmed by what she was feeling physically as well as emotionally, she thought she might tear the sheets she was tugging them so tightly. When his tongue licked into her, she nearly sobbed out as she bucked against his mouth. 

Placing a hand on her stomach to keep her anchored, he continue to flick and suck her with his mouth. The heat of his tongue inflamed while it gave her just the right amount of pressure. Rey felt that tension building up in her body, and she chased it as her toes curled, but that rush eluded her. Her whole body started to shake because the sensation was both somehow _too much_ and _not enough_.

“Ben... _please_ …” her voice came out in a sob.

Groaning deep in his throat, his lips left her clit with a wet smack that should not have sounded so good, but did. “Alright, sweetheart,” he backed away from her and she mewled in disappointment before she realized he was still wearing his trousers. “Get on your hands and knees for me,” his voice, gravelly and deep, sounded just as needy as hers. 

Rey would have done just about anything he asked in that moment as long as he kept calling her that name, so she did, but she couldn’t help but feel slightly cheated at missing the chance of that first sight of him fully undressed. She tried to turn her head, but the angle was wrong. Already, she missed the feel of his hands on her skin, his lips on her neck, but she didn’t have to wait for him too long as she heard the rustle of him kicking his pants out of the way.

His hands found her hips as he kneeled behind her. Rey was so ready for him as his tip teased her entrance that when he slid into her, the stretch to fit him didn’t hurt at all. She just felt _full_ as she bit her lip in ecstasy. When Ben didn’t move, she circled her hips. His moan vibrated through him. Pulling out ever so slowly, he thrust back in all the way quickly, the juxtaposition causing Rey to cry out in rapture. 

Fingers and palms flowed up her back and Rey arched into them. Ben crouched over her, placing one hand next to her own as he set a steady, leisurely pace. His other turned her chin to him so he could kiss her. The kiss was sloppy, tongues and teeth, but they were both too lost to care.

Her skin was on fire as his hand traced down her body to rub against her clit in time to his thrusts. Panting and crying out with each plunge, she felt that tension coiling again. The silhouettes of their bodies reflected back to Rey in the viewport and she was hypnotized by the carnal rhythm and the shooting lights of hyperspace. She could tell she was close, electrical surges pulsing through her from where their bodies were joined. When Ben bit down on her shoulder blade, she burst into light speed. Her orgasm quaked through her as she cried out, the strength of it completely erasing all coherent thought from her mind. 

Arms giving out, her head dropped onto the bed. Ben straightened but kept his grip on her hips, pulling them closer. The new angle hit her in _exactly_ the right place, and before she had even fully come down from her first climax, a second tore through her, this time with his name on her lips. That seemed to finally send Ben over as he pistoned deeply a few more times before she felt him spill inside her with a deep cry of his own.

They fully collapsed face down then. Ben barely managed to move to the side so he wouldn’t crush her, though his left arm still sprawled across her back and his leg was tangled between hers. They turned their faces to each other, panting heavily as that amused smile curved his lips again. He leaned in, and Rey thought he was going to kiss her, but instead he said:

“Who’s impatient?”

Rey managed a light smack to his chest with the back of her hand that was trapped under him. Pulling her arm free she wrapped herself around him and kissed him deeply, tugging playfully on his hair. It didn’t matter that he had won this battle. She knew she’d already won the war.

For the first time in her life, Rey didn’t wake up alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I just have to tell a story to illustrate just how much these two fools tend to take over my writing. 
> 
> I actually had a mental rant at Rey while I was writing this chapter. I started off with my cackling about all the evil and deliciously smutty things I had planned to write. And I was getting started and was feeling pretty good about the way things were going...and then Rey realizes her f***ing feelings. I was like:
> 
> Wait...what? 
> 
> REY, THAT WASN’T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN! All because of Ben’s stupid amazing hair. (Thanks for that prompt, btw ELVANIEL. This is all your fault.) Thankfully, Ben’s Swolo (I know this means something else, but I’m totally using it for playful/dom adjacent Bedroom Ben from now on.) started showing and brought back the heat, and my evil cackling, so hopefully it all turned out well. Thanks, Ben! ::dirty look at Rey::
> 
> On a side note...I may be a little crazy. Hopefully, it’s a good kind of crazy. 
> 
> Let me know what you think! If you like it, share with a friend! Also, you can find me on tumblr @forestelf86. Come geek out with me about SW and the 100. ^_^


	10. Valley of the Dark Lords

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Everyone! I'm so sorry it's been so long since the last update. Real life has kind of taken over for both myself and my beta. I promise that I am devoted to finishing this fic! It's seen me through too many tough times for me not to finish it.
> 
> Also, I created a playlist! I have one song for each chapter. So if you play it in order, you'll hear which songs I thought fit best for each chapter. I also tried to keep the songs to lesser known artists, so hopefully you'll find someone new that you like!
> 
> [Here's Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/user/22h4ckofsdfjn2aaglgtdunsi/playlist/2SOyzZw7kbhU29mLu26QGZ)
> 
> [I also created a list on Youtube](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLKMbhUwoiQKlhDy1Q0uCUcQiqRf5830oE)
> 
> Anyway, have some smut and some plot. Enjoy!

_I’m not alone._

Sleep had never been easy for Kylo. Snoke and the Dark Side had tormented his dreams for so long, sending visions that coiled around his mind. Visions of abandonment, loneliness, and suffering, feeding every insecurity young Ben Solo had ever felt. He had learned from an early age how to survive in a perpetual state of exhaustion. His mental anxiety would build with his physical lethargy and boil into anger until it could no longer be contained, resulting in rageful fits of destruction.

Which is why when Kylo woke up after a full night’s sleep, it was something of a miraculous experience. Like sunshine after a storm, where birds danced and the wind rustled through his hair. All that Light Side shit that was supposed to make you happy. It was slow, the darkness of unconsciousness gradually pulling back, body languid and relaxed as his eyes fluttered open. He felt better than he had in years, even with his face buried in a mess of tousled hair.

The only variable between this day and any other was the one that snored lightly in his arms, the faint buzz of her breathing a white noise that somehow managed to quiet his anxiety before it could rear its ugly head. With Rey he didn’t need to be all the things everyone had told him his entire life that he was: Prince, Jedi, Sith. He could just be himself. He wasn’t entirely sure who that person was yet, but he really wanted to find out.

Even though Kylo’s arm was comfortably settled across Rey’s waist, he couldn’t stop himself from reaching up to brush her hair from her neck. It curled just the smallest amount, the feather softness tickling his fingers. Mesmerized by the spattering of freckles on her shoulder, he placed a light kiss there before nuzzling the delicate spot where her neck met her shoulder.

Letting out a sleepy groan and stretching, she arched her back. Kylo found his attention completely diverted by the twitch of his morning arousal as her bare bottom grazed him with the movement. Turning onto her stomach, she twisted out of his arms, burying her face in her pillow with a determined grumble. As the blanket slid down, her entire back was revealed to him, and he noticed that the bite he had given her the night before had blossomed purple on her shoulder blade. 

Something primal surged through him at the sight of the mark. _Mine._ He would never say it out loud because he knew what kind of a reaction it would elicit from Rey. Still, the possessiveness was becoming more settled in his mind with each passing day. Unable to stop himself, he leaned down to kiss the bruise before laying his head on the pillow next to hers, gently tracing the imprint with his fingers.

Her head turned toward him as Rey muttered, “ _mphfthattickles_ ,” still mostly asleep. Baby hairs curled around her forehead. Kylo only thought for a second how he could be so turned on by _baby hairs_ before the need to kiss her overwhelmed him. He found himself raining light, tender kisses along her forehead and nose until her eyelashes started to flutter. 

Needing to see the first moment Rey woke up in his arms, he returned to his pillow. First, her brow furrowed, as if she were unhappy with being woken. Her hand reached towards her face, but smacked against the barrier of his arm around her back before it could reach. This caused her eyes to shoot open, amber irises shining in panic. Until they met Kylo’s own gaze. 

She blinked a few times, her expression fading from one of confusion to wide-eyed vulnerability. Kylo knew then that this, waking up with another person, was a new experience for her as well. Rey’s hand reached up and cupped his elbow, making the hairs stand on end as she squeezed gently. Then, her face opened, lighting up in that way only she could, eyes sparkling, smile wide and filled with so much joy his heart felt like it was going to burst. 

Pulling her to him, he kissed her urgently. Their lips moved in a bright, delirious dance as their tongues twirled together, each tasting like sleep, but neither one caring. Kylo felt Rey’s effervescent laugh rumble in her chest before it escaped through her mouth, breaking their lips apart. Before he had a chance to ask her what was so amusing, her hands tangled in his hair, cradling either side of his head to keep him from moving too far. Her thumbs tickled the shells of his ears as she gazed up at him. 

The look on her face was similar to the one she had given him the night before, when he had held her up against the viewport and she had so tenderly brushed his hair from his face. Kylo recognized that look. Soft, bright eyes. Gentle smile. Soothing caress. All for him. He recognized it as what it was: love. When Rey slowly pulled him back down to her lips, the kiss was tender and soft. Lips brushing ever so gently as they breathed each other in, and it didn’t matter that the words weren’t said.

Kylo’s lips left a feather light trail from her mouth to her ear. Her sigh of contentment sent a happy thrill through him. Leisurely, he let his hand roam down her body and he adored in the way her lip caught between her teeth when he grazed a particularly sensitive spot. When he brushed over her hip, down the swell of her bottom, and along the back of her thigh, she allowed him to lift her leg and place it on top of his own.

The wet heat of her core rubbed against his cock. They touched and teased for awhile until they were both grinding against the other. When he finally slid inside her, they let out a mutual groan. She felt so good around him, tight and warm, that he couldn’t bring himself to pull out enough to thrust deeply like he normally would. Instead he rolled his hips, staying deep but moving in shallow lunges that rubbed against her. 

Rey wrapped her arms around his back and pulled him in, the brush of her breasts and peaked nipples sending electric sparks through him. Kylo soaked in every languid sigh, gasping breath and whispered _Ben_ that escaped her lips. When he was close, he ground against her a little rougher, adding a circular motion. That added movement seemed to be all she needed as her arms tightened around him and she cried out, burying her head against his shoulder. He felt her orgasm roll through her, pulsing around him, and he lost himself in the sensation. The feeling of possessiveness only growing stronger as he crested inside her after a few more circles.

After, her head dropped to her pillow, their bodies still entwined and connected. Gentle fingers reached out to cup his cheek, rustling the stubble that was now starting to itch. The look in her eyes was one of utter endearment and he couldn’t stop himself from turning to kiss the palm of her hand. 

“Good morning.” His voice was raspy with disuse. 

Rey grinned at that, leaning in to plant a firm happy kiss on his lips that made his stomach do a strange little dance. She broke the kiss with a playful smack and ran a hand through his hair again, eyes radiant as she looked at him. 

“Best morning,” she replied.

***

Everything about Moraband was rust-red, from the sky to the sharp mountain peaks that seemed to stretch on forever like broken teeth, knife-edged and treacherous. Fissures in the mountains revealed the black sinister depths that pervaded the ancient Sith homeworld. Savage winds blew sand across the infertile landscape. Never before had Kylo seen a planet so desolate. Not even the desert of Jakku, which had still been teeming with vitality among the barren sands. The proof of that life was sitting next to him, surveying the landscape with a slightly green look on her face.

“Are you alright?” he spared her a brief look of concern before returning his attention back to piloting around the dangerous mountaintops.

Clearing her throat, she nodded, “I’m fine...just...this place…”

Kylo focused back on the Force energy surrounding them. It was incredibly dark, fueled by millennia of Sith Lords, war, slavery, and death. Being rooted in the dark, it gave him power, but he saw how it was having the opposite effect on Rey. The whole planet was a nexus of the Dark Side, strong enough that he was having problems pinpointing the signature of whichever knight had been unlucky enough to be sent here by Snoke. It all just felt like an endless well of energy he could draw from, and he clenched a fist against the heady sensation. At least he knew enough about Sith lore to have an inkling of what Snoke might have been looking for.

As if conjured by his thoughts, the mountains seemed to open up. The valley below a monument of crumbling statues of Sith long forgotten, back when the planet was more widely known as Korriban. Carved out of the mountain range at the end of the valley was an ancient Sith Temple, it’s multi-peaked pyramid still an imposing structure by modern standards. If his knight was anywhere on this forsaken planet, it would be here.

Luckily, the valley before the temple was mostly open space, so Kylo landed the shuttle as close to the monument as he could, providing them with a potential quick getaway. He turned in his seat to look at Rey, but she was transfixed by the sight in front of her, an expression of simultaneous wonder and dread fixed on her face.

“What _is_ this place?” she asked with horrified awe.

“How much do you know about the Sith?” 

Kylo could see the wheels turning in her head as she tried to remember all that she could. “Not much,” she admitted, “only that that’s what you called yourself in the throne room.”

Scoffing at that, he replied, “I am no Sith.” That may have been what Snoke had been trying to turn him into, but just as he knew the Jedi Path wasn’t for him, he felt just as strongly that the Sith Code wasn’t for him either. That’s why he had told her to let it all die.

She looked at him, assessing. “Isn’t Sith just another word for Dark Side user?”

“The terms became synonymous after a few millennia, but no. The Sith, as most people know them, were actually a faction of the Jedi that broke off, leading to thousands of years of conflict and war between the two orders, breeding hatred of Light Side users for the Dark and Dark Side Users for the Light. This is where they built their empire and buried their leaders, taking the name of the race that was here before them and became part of them.” He stood from his seat and Rey followed as he made his way towards the ramp. 

“I think it’s time to show the galaxy that the Light and Dark can work together.” As he said the words, he let the confidence he felt flood through their bond, matching his tone. He turned back abruptly, causing Rey to stop short. What Kylo was saying wasn’t inherently different from what he had proposed in Snoke’s chamber. The message was the same as he had always intended. However, months of leadership and thinking about why she had left him had helped him to develop a more...diplomatic approach.

He should have known she would catch onto the parallels right away. Her eyes crinkled in fondness before she raised an eyebrow at him, echoing the phrase he’d used on her more than once, “We’ll see.”

Her hand reached out and slammed the control to open the ramp, a reversal of what she did on Crait, and he couldn’t help the upward tick of his lips at that before leaning down to give her a quick kiss. As they departed the ship, red-orange sand blasted them and they both shielded their eyes against the onslaught. Kylo had a brief moment where he missed the filter of his mask, but it passed quickly. 

They both breathed a sigh of relief when they stepped under the relative shelter of the covered temple entryway, shaking the grating sand from their clothes. The entrance towered hundreds of feet over them, the wide base tapering upwards into a point. Pilaster columns lined the sides of the opening, crawling with ancient script. As Kylo approached, he felt a pull from the Force. He still couldn’t feel the signature of any of his knights, but there was definitely _something_ about this place that demanded his attention.

When he turned to Rey, she was standing frozen in place, eyes boring into the darkness beyond the gateway, full of uncertainty and blind to anything else. He knew that look and recognized it. She was feeling the same pull he was. 

“Rey?” He watched as her name shivered through her, bringing back some awareness of the present. 

She blinked, “Don’t you feel it?” Her gaze was still far away.

“Yes,” he assured.

“Doesn’t it...frighten you?”

“No,” Kylo answered truthfully, “because we’re together.”

He held out his hand to her. Rey’s eyes flicked down before rising back to meet his and he saw her finally returned fully to the present. His pose was so reminiscent of that day in the throne room that Kylo couldn’t stop the twinge of pain that twisted in his heart when she hesitated. But then her hand was in his, and he felt the heat of her skin warm the leather of his glove. 

“Together,” she confirmed with a small nod of her head.

They stepped through the gargantuan portal into the darkness. Igniting their sabers at the same time, Kylo’s red blaze and Rey’s green cast colorful beams around the room. Where the halos of their sabers met, a luminous yellow glow formed.

Pinpricks of sunlight shone down through cracks in the ceiling, barely illuminating an enormous cavern. On either side of the doorway crouched statues of ancient evil. A few feet in front of them, the floor dropped to a wide staircase that led to the main floor of the chamber. Lining either side of the center path were giant stone titans, monuments to a society long dead. At the far end, the beams of light gleamed down on a giant stone sarcophagus. 

Rey’s fingers tightened around Kylo’s in a vice. In an effort to reassure her, he squeezed back gently and slowly urged her towards the stairs. Kylo still couldn’t feel any of his knights, but he definitely felt pulled towards the apse of the tomb. 

Making their way down the great hall, Kylo’s skin started to crawl like a livewire at the dark energy pervading the area. It sang it’s tempting anthem, pulling at him. He wanted to reach for it, draw it close and let it envelope him and fill him with _power_... Rey’s hand yanked out of his and he spun towards her. Dropping her lightsaber to the ground, one hand clutched her head while the other clawed at her chest as she fell to her knees. Tears streamed from her eyes and she gasped as if in pain although he could see nothing physically wrong with her. 

Kylo froze in place as their connection twisted with her anguish. It wasn’t somatic pain, more like all-consuming grief riddled with fear and anger. Unbidden, Kylo felt sympathetic tears forming in the corners of his eyes as he fell to his knees in front of her. Keeping his saber within arms reach, he switched it off and reached for her, “Rey, what is it?! What’s wrong?!”

That faraway look was back in her eyes as she responded between gulping sobs, “So...much...pain and...death…” 

Rage swelled up from his very toes as Rey lost her voice to choking cries. Kylo realized that she was picking up on the remaining Force signatures of all the Jedi that had probably been sacrificed in this forsaken temple. Did Luke teach her _anything_ on that island of his? How could he leave her so open to the sway of the Force?

Kylo felt a twinge of physical pain from her and realized that the cause was his own hands, which gripped her shoulders so tightly that he knew that they would bruise. Forcing himself to loosen his grip, he rubbed his hands along them. 

“Rey, listen to me. You need to close your mind,” he instructed, voice tense. Kylo could feel the blackness wrapping around her, looking for the cracks and crevices that would allow it to consume her. The idea of Rey, _his_ Rey, falling to the Dark Side left a pit in his stomach that gnawed anxiously. He would _not_ let that happen.

“This is not a place you want to be connected to. Not you. The Darkness will consume you if you let it.”

Fingers clutching at the shoulders of his tunic as she clung to him desperately, she gasped, “I...don’t know...how! So much...suffering...torture...I feel it all-”

Another sob wracked her delicate frame and his heart twisted in agony. “Shh...shh…” his hands cradled her face, “Rey, look at me.” Her eyes snapped to his, panicked and tear-filled, somehow being present and not present at the same time. “Breathe with me,” he ordered, taking slow deep breaths. She followed instructions and he saw the tears slow as their breathing synchronized. The dark energies surrounding her were still grasping with their greedy fingers, but he could feel the beginnings of her focus returning.

“That’s it, just keep looking at me…” her gaze bored into his, searching for refuge. He took comfort in the fact that she seemed to find it, eyes becoming less panicked. “Now...I need you to push back the Dark. Build a wall around your mind so it can’t get in.”

Her eyes closed and her brows furrowed in concentration as she tried to do what he asked. Kylo could feel the tension in her body, jaw clamped tightly underneath his hands as she fought against the Darkness of this place. Her hands clenched his shirt even tighter, and then suddenly went slack, falling to her sides. The darkness stilled around her.

“Rey?”

As if summoned by her name, her eyes flashed open. He expected to see them clear, her calmness having returned her to her senses. 

His assumption couldn’t have been more wrong. The look she gave him was one of pure, abject terror.

“He’s here.”

As the words left her mouth, she folded in on herself, collapsing unconscious. Kylo barely had enough time to catch her before she fell on her ignited lightsaber.

“Rey? REY?!” he ran his hands along her face, trying to rouse her but resisting the urge to shake her desperately. The darkness seemed to have retreated from her for now, but the way it had taken over, even if it was for just that fraction of a second, was petrifying.

The sound of stone scraping against stone filled the cavern. Instinctively, Kylo grabbed and activated his lightsaber. Whatever was coming couldn’t be good if Rey had been so consumed by her fear. Dread pooled in his gut while his adrenaline spiked, igniting his fury. As gently as he could, he lowered Rey to the ground and turned towards the noise, snarling with aggression. No matter what creature appeared, how terrible it was, he wouldn’t let it hurt Rey.

Kylo crouched at the ready as he looked for the source of the noise. The sarcophagus was moving back, creating the awful grinding sound. A staircase was revealed underneath the coffin. At first the stairway was a deep black, which slowly gave way as a fiery red glow moved at the bottom, coming closer with each beat of Kylo’s heart. 

A low, malevolent laugh rumbled through the temple as an ancient helm came into view. The thing itself seemed to be made of smoke and fire, embers dancing in the vague form of something that had once been humanoid, but it gave off no heat. Orange, glowing eyes met his as the figure finally crested the top of the stairway. The faceplate of the armor was skeletal, smooth and terrifying. Platemail covered the creature, looking very corporeal over what appeared to be an incorporeal body. 

It stopped at the top of the stairs and cocked its head at Kylo consideringly, before its gaze shifted ever so slightly to Rey’s prone form behind him. “Ah...Sith...what a nice offering you have brought me.” Its speech was otherworldly and inhuman, a multitude of voices and yet only one.

“You’re wrong,” Kylo shifted to better block the thing’s view of Rey, “I bring you nothing.”

The spectre narrowed its eyes dangerously as its embers flashed. “Do you know who I am?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Kylo spat, twisting his wrist to twirl his saber threateningly, “You’re about to be dead.”

Somehow, the beast laughing in real mirth was even more terrifying than its sinister greeting had been. When its cold, burning eyes snapped back to Kylo’s, it snarled behind its helm. Reaching to its side, it pulled out a saber, igniting a crimson blade. “You can’t kill me. I am the greatest Dark Lord that ever lived. A fact that I will teach you, Sith. But first I’m going to take that pretty little Jedi of yours and make you watch as I tear her to pieces for your insolence.”

Rey stirred behind Kylo, as if she heard the threat. That was what finally pushed him into action, desperate to keep her safe. He charged, but the demon met his blade with hardly a flick of its wrist, parrying the blow effortlessly and striking one of its own that sent shocks reverberating up his arms as he blocked it.

The Sith Lord leaned in, glowing eyes narrowing in disgust. “You are a disgrace to the Sith order. Risking your life to protect a _Jedi_ ,” it spat at him.

“Maybe so,” Kylo gritted, using the full force of his strength to push away from their locked blades, attempting a side strike as he spun out of reach. The spectre deflected the blow easily, “But then, I’m not a Sith.”

“No?” its saber swung and Kylo barely managed to duck underneath, “I can feel your Darkness. The traces your Master left in your mind. The training. I, author of the Rule of Two, recognize them as if they were my own.”

_Author of the Rule of Two? That means...Darth Bane..._ The sheer impossibility of what was happening coursed through Kylo, a sharp fear shot through his veins like ice water. He was currently locked in combat with _Darth Bane_. The last great Sith Lord. The man who shaped the methods of an order that lasted for a millennium after his death. _How is this possible?_

“I see you now know who I am. Good. You should fear me,” Bane charged at Kylo then, taking advantage of his surprise to brandish a flurry of strikes, each one sending Kylo further on the defensive. He barely deflected a swipe that would have taken his arm, the saber scorching his sleeve. 

“OI!”

Kylo had been so focused on Bane that he hadn’t noticed Rey getting up. Neither had Bane. She had circled behind the Sith and made her way to the sarcophagus. Standing in front of it, the green tip of her lightsaber pointed low on the base, where there was a break in the stone that emanated with a red glow. There was something embedded in the sarcophagus, but he couldn’t make out what it was.

“I don’t know _what_ you are,” she called across the room, “but I’m sure you won’t like it when I do this-” With the last word, she swung at the artifact lodged in the stone. Bane cried out in protest right as her saber hit. Kylo had just enough time to worry about a shockwave before her lightsaber pierced it, evoking a very different reaction. 

The casket imploded, and a loud wailing filled the echoing chamber as Bane seemed to be pulled towards the wreckage. The embers and smoke of his form peeled away to reveal a person standing among their midst. Real and very much alive. 

Clothed all in black, the figure’s appearance wasn’t too different from Kylo’s own, but their stature was much shorter. A long, dangerous looking vibrosword, the actual source of the burn on his sleeve, fell out of limp fingers and clanged on the stone floor. Kylo saw the briefest glimpse of fire-orange eyes that glowed like Bane’s through the holes of a black hood before they rolled back and the figure collapsed. Their force signature finally flared to life, and he recognized it.

Reflexively, Kylo caught them as Rey ran over. Pulling off their hood, he looked down at a face he knew well. One that would be considered beautiful by anyone’s standards with its high cheekbones and full lips. Her long brown hair fell over his arm.

_Nasha._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you to my amazing beta, Kiley. I don't know what I'd do without you, and I don't just mean as my beta. ~.^
> 
> Also thank you to everyone who's still reading my crazy brain child. Please let me know what you think! Comments and kudos make me so happy.


End file.
